We Are Broken
by Little Fanpire
Summary: Bella needs a date to the dance. Edward needs to get back at his ex. Getting together seems like the perfect plan until they fall in love. Along the way they find out that we are all broken. AH. Strong Language.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, it owns me. Twilight characters and things belong to SM. We Are Broken, the song, belongs to Paramore. This story, called We Are Broken, about Edward and Bella, from Twilight, belongs to Twilightfanpire1721. **

**Warning: Rated T for strong language and mature situations all involving teens.**

Prologue

"_Bella wait up," I called. That girl was the most fearless thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Thunder roared in the distance and the rain continued to pour. I had no idea why I had agreed to go out in the middle of the night. Oh, right. _Isabella Swan_._

_We raced down to First Beach. The friction in the air was so palpable. The sun was trying to peak over the horizon but the pestering clouds and constant rain eluded it. _

_It had taken us all night to reach the beach. Bella had come up with this wonderful idea of watching the sun rise, and yet she seemed to forget that Forks was not an ideal place to see the first light of day. It was a miracle we had made it here all in one peace. Bella seemed to be a magnet for danger._

"_Come on Slowpoke! You're going to miss it if you don't hurry up." Bella squealed with excitement as her feet hit the shore's edge. _

_Even at ten years old, Bella had a confidence I had only known in my mother. In her large, yellow raincoat and polka-dot boots she looked like an angel. She was daring and strong. I had come to know her so well in these past few months since I moved from Chicago. I spent every waking moment with Bella Swan. We shared our secrets and fears with one another. She was my best friend. _

_But now as I watched her face light up in anticipation, I wanted more._

"_Bella…," hesitantly I reached for her hand. "I could marry you some day."_

_Bella let out a peal of laughter. "Edward, why on Earth, would you want to marry me?" Her face scrunched up into a look of disgust. _

_She pointed to my face and said, "Boys are smelly. And I love you as my best friend. I don't want to end up like Charlie and my mom. Do you?"_

_There was the age old question. Bella constantly threw that one around. After her parents split, shortly after she was born, it seemed marriage was a plague. But I wanted it._

_I leaned down, as she turned to gaze at the mountain peaks, and softly pressed my lips to her cheek. _

-:-

I awoke with a jolt as the alarm started going off. I had fallen asleep at my desk, again. I scraped my unfinished homework into my book bag and slowly stood up.

I turned on my stereo and tried to find some decent music to start my dreary day. "Muse, Elvis, Mozart…," mumbling as I searched for something sound. I settled for Mozart not ready to deal with the heavy sounds of Muse or the tune of the king.

I picked up my jeans off the floor and grabbed a white t-shirt from the dresser. I looked into the mirror, running my hands through my hair. _Fuck it_. My hair was impossible after the long night of studying and frankly, I didn't give a shit.

As I studied my reflection in the mirror I caught a glimpse of the window next door. Pacing back and forth around the room, throwing clothes and shoes everywhere, she looked so distraught.

Wait, why was I caring about Isabella Swan? Why was I dreaming about a past that was long forgotten? Bella Swan was no longer my best friend. Hell, she was no longer my_ friend_.

The quicker I got the fuck out of here, the quicker I could push these pathetic feelings aside. Bella and I were over before we ever started.

"Fuck! What time is it? Where the fuck is Alice and Emmett?" The clock said it was eight o'clock. It looked like those motherfuckers decided not to wait for me, so much for my brother's keeper.

I ran around the room looking for my shoes and ran into the bathroom to finish getting ready. I darted out of the room, out to my silver Volvo, and off to Forks High.


	2. Forks High

Forks High

I managed to make into the parking lot at 8:35. The slick roads of Forks damned me into a slow speed all the way here.

_Forks High_, it wasmy own personal hell. The long brick buildings looked more like prison cells than it did classrooms. And the Spartan mascot only mocked me with his coy smile.

The lot was empty and the rain continued to drizzle down. I walked to the office to receive my pass and I prayed I wouldn't get another detention. Carlisle would kill me if it happened again. Thankfully it didn't. The lady at the front desk seemed more occupied with my lips than what was actually coming out of them.

I shook off the awkward moment and trudged on to first period.

Oh, great. Bella seemed to want to ruin my day again. She stood at the front of the class and was trying to give some kind of speech or something.

Fuck. Did we have a speech due today? I racked my brain but I came up empty. No, in Biology we only had to finish the last six questions from the lab manual. So, what the hell was she doing?

"The Black and White Ball will be held on December 13th. It is mandatory for all seniors." The class let out a long groan.

Emmett stood up and shouted, "Teach, do we really have to go to that this shit?"

"Language, Emmett," Mr. Banner dryly replied.

"Yes, Emmett," Bella spoke as if she never had been interrupted. "The dance is a Forks tradition and you have to attend if you want to graduate."

That was fucked up. I slouched down in my chair and listened as Bella drowned on and on about the rules of the upcoming event. I had every intention to skip that at any cost. High school dances were the utmost ridiculous thing in the world. Bella spoke as if it would be our best high school experience. Shit, the best experience is when we walk across the stage at graduation. Damn it. I hoped Carlisle could get me out of this stupid dance.

As I pondered a good excuse, Bella finished talking and returned to our table. Fuck Mr. Banner and his assigned seats. I had managed to ignore Bella all throughout the last four years, but Biology and English had to be the classes we shared.

The bell rang and I jumped out of my seat. It was time to find Tanya. She could straighten this shit out that was running through my head.

Tanya had been my girlfriend since junior year. We met after her family moved down from Alaska. She was beautiful with strawberry curls and brown eyes. Yes, she could make me forget Bella Swan.

"There you are sexy. I was wondering why I didn't see you this morning," she purred into my ear as she snuck up behind me.

"I woke up late. Have you seen Alice?" Tanya shook her head and placed her lips on my neck.

"No," she murmured. "I only have eyes for you."

We made our way to the janitor's closet on the southern end of the school. No one would bother us there and I really needed some relief.

By one it had stopped raining and English had decided it would be my dark cloud.

Mr. Mason began to hand out copies of Romeo and Juliet. I saw Bella's face light up. Of course, it was her favorite.

"Pair up, Mr. Cullen," Mr. Mason stated as he handed me the worn out book. I looked around trying to find a good candidate. Newton, Hale, Stanley… They all seemed pretty pathetic as a partner. Bella rose from her seat and started walking towards me. Oh, hell no! There was no way I could do it if she asked me.

Thankfully, my egotistic self overreacted and she spoke to James before she made it to my desk.

James. He was the football captain and Bella's boy toy. I don't think they had actually made it official but he had his eyes on her.

Fuck, Edward just find a damn partner! Angela was staring into space and I figured it was either her or Jasper. Jasper might be a funny Juliet, but I wasn't on speaking terms with that motherfucker.

Angela agreed and we started reading the First Act aloud in class. Finally the last bell rung and we were free to go to home.

Alice was waiting for me when I walked into the house. She had a mischievous grin on her face and it could only mean one thing.

"Edward you are so going to the Ball! I know you don't want to but you have to go. And Carlisle will not let I'm-an-angry-teenager-who-despises-all-things-black-and-white story stop you from going. It's tradition."

The little pixie could be downright freaky when she knew what I was planning. That plan usually worked whenever I tried to get out of school events.

Emmett started laughing in the other room so I ignored Alice and went to find out what he was doing.

Sprawling out on the couch with a Cherry Coke in hand, Emmett shook with laughter and said, "Edward, Bella already told Esme how important this dance is. You can kiss us skipping that shit goodbye."

Seriously, she was going to ruin my evening as well? "God, what the fuck is her problem?"

Alice looked at me with disbelief. "I can't understand why you don't get along with her. You're neighbors. What happened?"

"Junior High happened." That was all I could manage to say as I marched up to my room.

* * *

**A/N: **Sorry for Tanya. It has to be done. I hate to see Edward and Bella with other people but it is a necessary evil. Here's your heads up for Bella and her "boy toy" in the next chapter.


	3. James McQueen

James McQueen

I hate my closet. None of these clothes fit and the ones that do make me look like I just walked out of the cabbage patch. I thought Thursdays were supposed to be good, but my head was already hurting and the rain was pouring outside. I have to talk to the class today and I don't want to look like a loser.

I settled on the navy blue sweater and a pair of jeans. It didn't really matter, the red from my face was sure to be enough of a distraction from my clothes.

For some odd reason I had been in charge of telling the senior class about the impending dance. It was a tradition at Forks High School. I hated dancing and anything that was sure to make me fall flat on my face, but the dance was important. We needed it to graduate. Honestly, that was a joke. The Black and White Ball was just an excuse for the staff and parents to say we had a good high school experience.

Experience? The only experience we got from this school was how to tell time and learn are ABCs. The best experience would come when they handed us our diplomas.

I hoped I could deliver a good enough pitch to the class, though. We really did have to go; there was no way around it.

I heard a noise coming from outside and I saw as Edward slammed his bathroom door and headed off to school.

It looked like he was going to be late, too.

Sighing, I made my way downstairs. I was too rushed to eat breakfast so I grabbed a muffin and headed out the door. There was no sign of Renee's car so she must have left for work already.

There was only Renee and myself in our small white house. She worked at the elementary school in Forks. We had a decent life. Our house wasn't as glamorous as our next-door neighbors, the Cullens, though.

A large castle in the sky is what I liked to refer to it when I was a child. It was so big and rich. Esme was a great decorator and it showed in her home. I missed that place and the people who live there.

I shook my head and stepped into the rain. There was no need to dwell on the past. It was all over and the damage was done.

How I managed to beat Edward to school I had no idea. I pulled up to school and I couldn't find his car anywhere. I raced inside, skipping the office, and landed in Mr. Banner's room.

He gave me a stern look but he didn't fuss. I walked up to the front of the class to give my little speech. Of course I tripped on Emmett's big feet as I passed his desk. Yes, there was the red faced Bella.

I started talking about school spirit and pride, trying to coax the class into the requirement of the dance.

The door opened and Edward stepped in. His golden locks were dampened in the light drizzle from outside.

"The Black and White Ball will be December 13th. It is mandatory for all senior," I blurted out to keep my thoughts away from Edward.

I didn't hear the groans from the class but I could faintly make out Emmett's voice. I was too focused on Edward's bronze hair and I couldn't pay attention to what was going on.

I told them they had to go and tried to explain how important it was that we all attend. A bunch of bull was all I could muster up before I went to my seat, my seat which was next to Edward.

The bell rang quicker than I expected and I was glad it did. The friction in the air was too much for me to handle. If only Edward and I could avoid one another, my life would be much better.

As the day went on nothing truly exciting happened. I went around to all the senior classes to tell them about the dance. More students groaned and complained, but there was really nothing I could do about it.

Lunch came and went, followed by English. It was my favorite class and Mr. Mason brought out some books from the cabinet.

_Romeo and Juliet_, it was my favorite. I had read at least a dozen times but it was such a classic.

Mr. Mason said we needed to pick partners so that we could perform the play in front of the class in two weeks. I stood up to find James.

James McQueen was the captain of the football and Homecoming King. He was gorgeous. I hoped we could go to the Ball together but he had yet to ask me. James was a man of little words.

"So, McQueen will you be my Romeo?" I tried to bat my eyelashes at him but he was looking down at his book.

"Sure. I guess. I don't really understand why we have to read this shit anyway."

I was appalled. James couldn't understand why the great work of Shakespeare should be read in the classroom setting. I looked around hoping to find someone to appease my disgust.

I was met with two green eyes staring intently into mine. Edward looked like he was going to have a heart attack. What was the matter with him? He stood up and waltzed over to Angela's desk.

I looked back at James and he smiled at me. God, he was perfect. I wished that we could be together. It seemed impossible with his lack of verbal skills and flaky attitude, but a girl could hope.

As I approached my car Rosalie was waiting for me, leaning up against my old Chevy.

"So Bella, are you going to the game tomorrow?"

Rosalie was perfect. With her long legs, blonde hair, and icy blue eyes, I wondered why she was even talking to me. I was nowhere near the most popular and I wasn't an outsider either. People like Rose and I, we didn't mix. We hung out with similar groups but we had never been connected in anyway.

"Yeah, I guess. Why?" I was shocked to be having this conversation with Miss Queen Bee.

"Word is that James as a nice, big plan to ask you to the dance. I thought you'd want to know."

"Th-thanks. I'm going." I stumbled trying to comprehend why she was being so polite.

Three years ago when Rosalie and Jasper first moved to Forks, I was scared to even look at the girl. She was deadly in the high school mean girl kind of way. James and Rosalie had dated off and on. Up until recently I was terrified to even talk to the boy, but after Rose and Emmett got together I had started getting a nicer glare from her. This was strange.

Before I could say anything else, Rosalie walked off and I was left there speechless in the cold.

By Friday night I was a train wreck. I couldn't believe James was finally going to ask me out. As I approached the field I saw him waving at me. I waved back and made it to the football stands before I tripped in front of him.

I sat down beside Angela Weber. She was the closest thing I had to a best friend and I knew I would need the support when my knees gave way.

I was so nervous that I was oblivious to the things going on around me. James scored a few touchdowns and Emmett tackled the rival's quarterback. I have never understood football and I didn't understand why anyone would want to play it in the rainy Forks.

By halftime by nerves had calmed down and I was able to focus on the band's show. Edward was playing the snare drum in the back. He looked so focused and content. We had a really good band. Thanks to Edward and his amazing musical talent. As far as I knew Edward could play quite a few instruments. The drums, piano, guitar, and who knew what else.

Finally the halftime show was over and I scanned the field in search of James. I found him by the fence. He was talking to one of the cheerleaders from the other team. He was laughing and talking. Talking, James McQueen knew how to speak.

I felt hurt by the fact that this blonde beauty could steal him into conversation so quickly. Maybe he knew her from somewhere. There was nothing to worry about. He would ask me to the dance.

The game went on and we scored the last touchdown, another victory for the Spartans. It looked like we would be headed for the play-offs.

I waited with Angela and Jessica for the team to finish in the locker room. When they finally came out, I went to talk to James, but I suddenly stopped when he approached the cheerleader from earlier.

I heard a gasp near Jessica and Angela, when James leaned down to plant a kiss on the girl's lips. Then the gasps started coming from somewhere closer by and it wasn't stopping.

"Bella, are you okay? Come on lets go." It was me, the one making hysterical noises.

"No he can't. We were going to the Ball together." I started rambling and Angela walked me over to her car.

"It's okay Bella. I'm sure you can find someone else." Jessica looked at me sympathetically.

"Sure. Sure," I said, not truly believing those words, I was banking on James to be my knight in shining armor, not the loser who had led me on. Who would possibly go to the dance with me now? It looked like I would have to find another date.

I clumsily fell into the backseat of Angela's car and shouted: "Prince Charming is a dick. Bring on the frogs."

**A/N:** Yikes! Bella sure is a thinker. That was pretty long. Let me know what you think.


	4. Edward

Edward

The game had been lame. Sure, we won and all, but it sucked balls. Usually I didn't mind playing in front of a large crowd. My mother made me take piano when I was five. Concerts and recitals were a piece of cake.

But no one cared about the stupid marching band. It was mostly made up of dorks and rejects. The problem was these kids were talented. We had won three state finals. Forks High didn't care about that. It was all jocks and peppy cheerleaders.

I kept up with the tempo of the other drummers. I never liked marching bands or pep rallies, but I could handle the drums. It was an excuse to beat the shit out of something and usually no one got hurt.

After the game I found Emmett and told him congratulations. The team would be playing in the state finals, thanks to their win. Emmett was a massive kid and Esme was so proud when he made Varsity.

"Thanks, man. You coming with us to the diner?" Emmett only ever thought of food.

"No thanks. I'm going out with Tanya." She had this big plan to take me to some rally tonight.

It wasn't really my scene, but what the fuck, maybe I'll score again tonight. I made it to the car before the crowd started pouring out of the stands.

Tanya was leaning against the hood of my car, her hair blowing in the wind. "Ready to go?" she huffed. High school events were never really her thing. I couldn't blame her though, high school life was lame.

We drove to Forks Community Hospital and I could see people lined up outside.

"What the fuck is going on?" Tanya smiled at me and got out. She walked up to a tall man in black. Everyone had signs and they were shouting things. My mind hazed over has I tried to make out what was going on.

"Stop animal testing! Leave them to suffer!" The crowd had signs flying around with messages of animals dying of cancer and how people should be the only ones to suffer from the disease. What kind of sick, fucked up rally was this?

"I'm out of here Tanya?" Her smile faded as she watched me turn around.

"No wait, stay with me. People need to see what Forks is doing with their stray pets. It's sickening."

"Sickening? You think that is sickening. 'Leave them to suffer!' How can you say that?" I was shocked beyond feeling. I opened the door to my Volvo and got in.

"You think you're so James Dean, Edward. But you're not. The rallies we go to and the causes we support, it's all nothing. You can't stand up for certain rights and turn a blind eye to this!" She pointed towards the hospital. My stomach began to turn; I needed to get out of here fast.

"What are you trying to say, Tanya?" I knew what was coming.

"I just think we're headed in different directions." She turned away before I could say anything. _Fuck her_.

I sped off down the road and made it home in record time. Tanya had some nerve pulling that shit on me. I walked to the backyard and sat down on the back step. Tanya knew what happened to my mother. How could she think this would be okay?

I don't know how long I sat there. I began to lose myself in my thoughts. I couldn't face those three years, but I drifted back, back to when Chicago was my home.

_He was finally going to let me go to work with him. I was so excited. At four years old, my father's work seemed to be the best job in the world. He worked in construction and what boy wouldn't find that fascinating, with all the bulldozers and trucks._

"_Come on son. We have to go now." My father reached for my mother and gave her a swift kiss. She blushed and turned to look at me._

"_Mind your father, Edward. Stay close." She gave me a peck on the cheek and gave my father a firm tap on the butt. I chuckled and walked out the front door. My parents were so in love, it was almost overwhelming at times._

_We arrived to my father's work and walked to the end of the road where he would be working. The men at the site start joking around and calling us Senior and Junior. I didn't mind, though. I loved sharing my name with my father. He was my hero. _

I don't remember what really happened after that. He went down into the manhole and he never came back up. He was so young, only thirty-eight. He was healthy and strong.

A heart attack, that's what the paramedics said when they arrived on the scene. When he hadn't come up after a few minutes one of the guys went in after him. I was helpless, just standing off to the side, forgotten by the crowd.

The tears started pouring down my face just like they did so long ago. The funeral had been short and sweet. My mother stood at my side. She never broke down. She stayed strong up until I was thirteen.

Someone coughed behind me. I was pulled from my memories and saw Emmett staring down at me.

I cleared my throat and dried my eyes. "Em. What the fuck?" I chuckled.

Emmett had on a frilly white dress shirt. "Alice, man. Alice," was all he could manage before I busted out laughing.

He slapped me hard across the chest and I stood up.

"Sorry about Tanya. She's a bitch."

"How the fuck did you already hear about that?"

"Alice."

Of course, Alice knew everything. I had already forgotten about my current pain. I was too lost in the past.

"Well, let's go. It's your turn to look like a princess."

I gave him a skeptic look.

"There's plenty of fish in the sea, bro." I knew that was true, but not in the way he meant it.

There would always be more people to hurt me, always someone else to leave me.

**A/N: **Those events were loosely based on a true story. Reviews will help brighten mine and Edward's mood. ;)


	5. There's No Better Time than the Present

**A/N:** I combined Edward and Bella's POVs to make this chapter longer. Enjoy!

* * *

There's No Better Time than the Present

**BPOV**

The seconds passed, followed by minutes, hours, and days. I had no true memory of what happened following the football game. I was numb to my surroundings.

I could only remember that Renee was waiting for me at the front door. Angela helped me out of the car and led me to the porch. It looked like I needed her support after all. She passed me on to my mother. The scene was comical. It looked like a divorced couple trading the kids. Angela didn't speak, but she gave me a sad smile as she turned to leave.

My mother helped me into the house and guided me to the sofa. I lay down on the soft, plush couch. I drifted in and out of consciousness all throughout the night. My mother never left my side. I had managed to tell her what happened. Rejection washed over me as the twilight turned to night.

I spent the weekend in bed and skipped school on Monday. I wasn't ready to face the humiliation, knowing James had never meant to ask me out.

I couldn't understand why I was never good enough. I was under par. In my room I could see the Cullen's house lit up like the Fourth of July. Alice and Rose were sitting on the back porch. They were both so beautiful. I saw my own reflection in the window pane. My brown hair lay flat against my back. My eyes had dark circles around them. My outer appearance was mediocre at best. But it seemed my inner self was what truly lacked. If James, and every other man that had been in my life, could not find something special about me, what hope did I have?

By Tuesday I figured time would no longer wait for me. It would pass with each tick of the clock. I had to move on and get over myself.

As I made my way downstairs, I smelled something burning. I raced into the kitchen and found my mother trying to light a candle. Oh, great! She's trying to burn the house down.

Renee was not the best person in the world when it came to things like cooking and cleaning. She was just scatter brain Renee. I loved her so much, but sometimes she acted like a child.

"Mom, what are you doing?" The room smelled heavenly. This wasn't the first time my mom had used aromatherapy. It was her special weapon whenever I wasn't feeling well.

"What are we burning this time? Is it Lavender for intuition? Or maybe Juniper for protection?"

She smiled at me and said, "No, it's Twilight Woods…for love."

I rolled my eyes at her. Renee always believed in the fairy tale romances. I could never understand why. She never got her happily ever after. It had ridden away, off into the sunset.

"Honestly Bella. You need to brighten up. That boy was no good for you. I thought you told me he barely ever spoke to you." She was right; she was always right. I knew James was a stretch and that I had little to go on in the first place. No matter what, it still hurt.

But I was passed it all. Today I would go to school and I would not break down. Mr. Mason would have to let me switch partners. There was no way I could say, "Romeo, my Romeo." James was more of the slain Tybalt, then the daring lover.

No one spoke to me in the hallway or my classes. Word had gotten around how James had fallen in love with the cheerleader and how he had left me high and dry. Everyone seemed certain he was going to ask me to the dance. It appeared that we were all wrong.

English was fast approaching and I had yet to work myself up into a brave façade. I walked into the room and asked Mr. Mason if there was any way I could switch partners. He told me I would have to ask around and see if anyone would switch. I knew Angela or Jessica wouldn't mind being my partner, but Mr. Mason stopped my train of thought when he said it had to be someone of the opposite sex.

"Fine, I'll just do it by myself. I know this play well enough." He didn't say anything so I went and sat down at my desk.

Students started coming in and I saw James walk in. I ducked my head behind my Literature book and waited for him to pass. Yes, it was pathetic, but I wasn't ready to hear his excuses. He went on by me and sat down. Thank God, we were three desks apart. I didn't have to see him out of the corner of my eye or glance in his direction at all.

I heard him grumble when Mr. Mason told him he needed to find another partner for the project. Sorry to disappoint you, but you messed that up big time.

I was laughing to myself when Edward slid into the classroom right before the bell rang. He looked like hell. His hair was sticking out in all directions and his face could use a shave. I wondered what had happened to him.

I made it through the day without any confrontations from James. I went home and sat down on the couch. Mr. Mason wanted us to watch the Romeo and Juliet movie for homework. Shakespeare had always wanted his works to be performed, not just read. I loved both versions, old and new. I settled on the newer one with Leo and Claire. The modernism made it more relatable and frankly I just wanted to feel loved, even if it was coming through the small screen.

I fell asleep on the couch, about halfway through the movie, and was awoken by my mother. She had her hands full of groceries and she was trying to shut the front door.

"Mom, what did you buy? We didn't need anything from the store. I went last week." She sat the bags down on the kitchen counter and started sorting through it.

"I thought maybe you could make me some cookies. I had a craving for some chocolate chips." I laughed at her statement and pulled out the chips and eggs.

"There's like enough cookie mix to make a dozen batches." What was she thinking? I don't think we would ever eat that many cookies.

"Just fix me some chocolate chip cookies. You can use the rest for later this week." Renee walked to the kitchen table and took out her planner.

"Now I have twenty papers to grade and I'm starving."

"Okay. Okay. I'll make some cookies. Chill out."

By the second batch I realized what her plan was. I loved to cook. It was my release and my save haven. Our small, yellow kitchen was so warm and inviting. Cooking made me forget all about my worries and fears. The rejection I had been feeling for the past few days was replaced by the acceptance I had always found when baking.

After the fifth batch was finished cooling, I started placing some of the cookies into Ziploc bags, so that we could take them to school tomorrow. I heard a knock on the door and looked up at the microwave. It was almost eleven. I wonder who that could be.

To say I was shocked when I opened the door would be an understatement. Rosalie Hale was standing in my doorway. Her arms were crossed and she threw her umbrella down on the ground.

"Can I come in?" I hesitated and then moved to the side to let her in.

"I wanted to apologize…for the other night." She blurted out when we reached the kitchen.

I stood dumbfounded as I processed her words. I had built up resentment against Rosalie in the past 96 hours. She had told me James was going to ask me out. I figured they had come up with this sick plan just to break my heart.

"I truly am sorry for what happened at the game Friday night. I had no idea he was going to do that. He told Mike he was going to make an announcement and ask you during the half time show. I heard them talking about." She paused and looked around the room, gawking at all the trays of cookies.

"I bake when I'm angry."

"Look, James is a douche bag. I saw him today and asked him what the fuck his problem was. He said he had fallen in love." Rosalie scoffed and picked up a bag of cookies.

"Yeah, well, I just wished he had told me about it." Rosalie shook her head at me.

"James knew what he was doing. He was stringing you along. I'm sorry. Boys can be a pain in the ass." She laughed at some personal joke.

I didn't get it. All I knew of the Hale twins was that they moved here from Texas after Jasper had gotten in trouble with the school system there.

Rosalie stared at me. I whispered, "Forget it. I'm not mad anymore. There's nothing we can really do about it now." I honestly wasn't mad at her anymore. As far as I could recall, Rosalie Hale never apologized, to anyone.

"Shit, I don't care if you forgive me or not. I just needed you to know the truth." She picked up another bag of cookies and snorted.

"Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. How original Bella," Rosalie said sarcastically. I had labeled the bags by day so that Renee would get a chance to try them all. There was macadamia nut, double chocolate chip, fudge brownie, pecan, and sugar, respectively.

"What do you want me to put on there? The way I'm feeling?"

I knew what would be my choice of words for the past few days. But I'm sure the other kindergarten teachers wouldn't want Renee to have profanity on her lunch baggies.

"That would be helpful." Rosalie smiled as I crossed through Wednesday and etched in something else.

"Thanks! I'll take these." She grabbed the bag out of my hand and strode out the door. I watched as she walked over to the Cullen's house.

**EPOV**

The notes kept floating all throughout my head as I pounded away on the piano. The melody had been stuck there since Friday night. I hated Tanya with a passion now. I no longer could stand the hurt and so I turned it into anger. The past four days had been torturous. I kept replaying scenes in my head. Tanya, Dad, Bella, Mom, Tanya. Loss was my only companion now.

I went in the kitchen to find something to eat. I had skipped out on dinner because I was tired of the looks Esme had been giving me over the past few days. They were all worried about me. Carlisle thought I was on drugs. I just moped around the house and watched television all day. Em and Alice left me alone for the most part. They knew I needed time to move on. And I did. I felt better today and I had managed to make it to school this morning.

It seemed I wasn't the only one who suffered from insomnia for the last few days. I heard Bella had been royally dumped by James, too. What a dickhead. She looked as rough as I felt when I saw her in English. James kept shooting her daggers with his eyes. I didn't feel so bad after that. Bella never even got her chance with him. At least I had the opportunity to see how much of a bitch Tanya truly was. I was better off without her.

Rose walked in and plopped a bag of cookies onto the counter.

"Where the fuck did they come from?" Rose didn't reply. She just walked out to find Emmett with a smirk across her face. She could be so weird at times.

I looked down at the bag and read, "Fudge You All," on the label. That was exactly how I felt. That was brilliant, Rose.

I snatched the cookies up and started to devour them. They were so delicious. I was halfway through them when Alice walked in.

"Hi!" How Alice could be so cheery this late at night, I had no idea.

"How are you feeling?" She looked down at my bag and I offered her some cookies. She took two and walked over to the sink.

"I've had worse. I wish I could just forget the last few days, you know?" Alice looked at me with a strange smile on her face.

"No, Edward. I don't understand that. Your past makes you who you are. Without it how can you really know yourself?"

I had never questioned Alice about her past before. Carlisle and Emse had adopted her when we started high school. All I really knew about her is that she had spent quite some time in a mental clinic down in Mississippi. She wasn't crazy though, a little, evil pixie, yes, but not insane.

"Why do you say that, Alice?"

"Because I know what it's like not to remember. What it means to have no recollection of your past. I would trade it for the pain though. Pain is better than nothing at all." She frowned down at the cookie in her hand and looked up at me.

"Don't forget your past, Edward, the good and the bad. You can only control your future." We stared at each other for some time. I wanted to ask her what had happened and why she couldn't remember her life. But I was interrupted.

"Gosh. You made forget why I came down here in the first place, your date for the dance." She stated.

"Umm…Alice I don't think…"

"I need to match colors."

A date to the dance was the last thing I wanted to think about right now, if ever. "I can't date right now, Alice. I need tim-"

Alice cut off my sharp comeback with one of her own. "There's no better time than the present."

* * *

**A/N**:_ Wow. Okay so if you've never heard of Wide Awake go read it now. Really, stop reading this crap and find out what you're missing. No hate intended. It is the best fanfic in the world. __ Go, now._


	6. O Romeo, Romeo

**A/N:** Sorry this took so long. Between the New Moon Premiere and Thanksgiving, I haven't had any time for writing. Oh well, here it is.

* * *

O Romeo, Romeo

**EPOV**

"What happened to her Carlisle?" I was sitting on the leather chair in his office. It had been over a week since I had spoken to Alice in the kitchen. She didn't bring up our conversation after that.

"I don't think it's my story to tell, son. I don't go around telling your secrets, do I?" Carlisle leaned back in his chair and folded his hands together. Dr. Carlisle Cullen had a way of turning the tables on you. You may think you have him cornered and then he's gone.

"True. True." I agreed with him on that one. Carlisle was a man you could trust. I knew he would never tell my life story, much in less anyone else's.

"We all have pasts Edward. Have you ever asked about them? And not just Alice's, but Emmett, Rose and Jasper's as well." Yes, we all had a past and it seemed anyone associated with the Cullen family had a past that was beyond the norm.

I knew some things about them. Emmett had moved here three years ago. He was attacked by a bear in Tennessee. Carlisle was visiting a colleague at the local hospital there. He saw Emmett and called Esme right away. Emmett was an orphan like me. Emmett had told me his story when he first moved in. His philosophy on life was that you had to live life to its fullest and not take things so seriously.

Rose and Jasper moved in down the road after our freshman year. They had a bad reputation the second day they were here. Rosalie was beautiful beyond words. Her blonde hair and long legs made her appear to be an angel or a goddess. Although, she acted more like the devil because she could bring every guy to his knees, but she didn't pay them any mind. Jasper was very similar to her in looks, except for his scars and tattoos. Word was that the reason they moved to Forks, was because Jasper had been involved with some seriously sketchy people in Texas. He was a badass.

But Alice had entered into our lives in a different way. Esme could never have children so she opted for adoption. Jasper and Rosalie had their own parents but they spent a lot of time with us. Emmett and I thought of Emse and Carlisle as family but Alice was the oddest of us all. She showed up at our front door one night last December. Alice was a tiny little thing but she was even smaller back then. Emse took her in without a second look. From our last conversation I had gathered that she didn't know anything about her past. She showed up at our house and started putting her stuff into the spare bedroom.

Carlisle sighed and pulled me from my reverie. "Anything else you wanted to ask me?" I shook my head and stood up to leave.

"Thanks, Carlisle…for all you do." I shut his door and walked to the stairs. It was time for school and I was dreading it. Today we had to perform our Romeo and Juliet skits to the class.

Last Wednesday Angela had come into class with an angry expression on her face. I had never seen her upset before; she always had a smile on her face.

"What's wrong Angela?"

"Edward I need to switch partners." I stared at her with disbelief. "It's McQueen."

I looked over at the jerk and he was smiling at me. What? Why would Bella want Angela to do anything for that guy?

"Bella doesn't want to be his partner but apparently he can't do it by himself. And no one else will switch." Well, hot damn. It looked like I was SOL.

I agreed and went on studying my playbook. I couldn't say no to her. It was better her then me. I could do it, though. Bella was reading the play by herself and I could, too. I knew Romeo and Juliet pretty well.

Mr. Mason called the class to order and started handing out the script for Romeo and Juliet.

"Each scene is different. Each pair will perform a different one. If your scene has more than two characters I will allow you to group up. You have five minutes before we start. Let's go."

I glanced down at the scene. _Oh, great, Romeo's death scene. _

Well at least I wouldn't have to partner up.

The five minutes were up and Mr. Mason started picking people to go up and carry out their scenes.

Mike Newton and Jessica Stanley did a hilarious rendition of Mercutio's famous dream speech. The modern movie version of the play portrayed Mercutio to be somewhat gay and obnoxious. Newton did a hell of a job imitating that.

More pairs and groups went up. It was obvious none of them took it seriously. They could barely make out the words on the paper.

"Edward, you're next." I groaned and then walked to the front of the room. I choose to sit on the edge of Mr. Mason's desk and started my monologue.

…_Oh, here_

_Will I set up my everlasting rest_

_And shake the yoke of inauspicious stars_

_From this world-wearied flesh. Eyes, look your_

_last!_

_Arms, take your last embrace! and lips, O you_

_The doors of breath, seal with a righteous kiss_

_A dateless bargain to engrossing death! _

_Come, bitter conduct; come, unsavoury guide!_

_Thou desperate pilot, now at once run on_

_The dashing rocks thy seasick weary bark!_

_Here's to my love! O true apothecary!_

_Thy drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss I die. _

I had always envied Romeo for his great escape. He was able to go out with his love, or so he thought. But he never had to endure much pain.

I looked up when I was finished. Everyone's eyes were blurry and I heard a few sniffles. But I all I could see was the big, chocolate brown ones staring intently into mine.

**BPOV**

I gaped down at my paper. The balcony scene! I had to perform that scene. There was no way to do that without a partner. This is so unfair.

I sat there staring down at my desk. I would do it. I already had that entire scene memorized. I could be both Juliet and Romeo.

When the five minutes were up I watched as the other groups went through their parts. Mike was so funny and Jessica just stood over to the side. No one else really did anything, they had been goofing off for the past two weeks and they couldn't even pronounce the words right.

Edward stood up to deliver his speech. Lucky, bastard. I wish I could have had the death scene.

As he carried out his speech the room grew silent. Edward was pouring his heart out with every word. Every syllable was perfect and precise. He sat on Mr. Mason's desk and it made him look defeated, like, he was Romeo in the tomb when he found his bride dead.

_Heartbreaking._ Edward was heartbreaking. He always had been.

After a few minutes, Mr. Mason coughed and brought us all back down to earth.

"That was very good, Edward. Who's next?" He searched the room for the next victim.

I knew I was the only one left, so I stood up and walked up to the front.

"I have the balcony scene." I whispered to Mr. Mason.

"Oh, well, Edward! Stay and help Bella." He called to Edward before he had returned to his seat.

Edward turned around and came to stand beside me.

I showed him my paper and he handed it back to me. I heard a scuffing noise and saw that he was moving a desk to the front of the room.

"What are you-" I started and then I realized he was trying to be lower than I was because of the balcony in the scene.

I cleared my throat. "Umm…"

_He jests at scars that never felt a wound._

I moved closer to where Edward was sitting.

_But soft! What light through yonder window _

_breaks? _

_It is the East and Juliet is the sun!_

_Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, _

_Who is already sick and pale with grief…_

Edward went on and then it was my turn.

_Ay me!_

_She speaks._

_O, speak again, bright angel!_

We went on through are monologue. I was lost as we spoke back and forth. I never looked down at the paper and neither did Edward. Our faces came closer and closer together. I could feel his breath as he declared his undying love for me. No, Juliet. I couldn't remember. Were we not one in the same?

We had finished and an abrupt applause broke out in the back of the classroom.

Jasper Hale was clapping away. He paused and said,

_For never was a story of more woe_

_Than this of Juliet and her Romeo. _

The class let out a roar of laughter and then the bell rang. Everyone jumped out of their seats and Mr. Mason yelled to Jasper that those two lines didn't count for his presentation.

Jasper shrugged and winked as he passed Edward and me. I looked up at Edward. My heart was still racing and his eyes were bright. Was that some kind of spark that just happened between us? Romeo had always been my favorite fictional character and secret crush, but Edward Cullen had just blurred the line as to who truly held my heart.

_O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?_


	7. Holidays for Dummies

Holidays for Dummies

**BPOV**

"_Go fish!" I yelled out as Edward called out the number five._

_We had been playing the game since three o'clock. After school I had ran over to his house and found him and his mother sitting by the window, staring out at the white blanket of snow. It was the first snow of the season and all the kids were more than happy to be let out a little early from class._

"_Edward, dear, can you fetch me some water?" Elizabeth tried to sit up but she could only make it halfway before the coughing began. _

_Elizabeth Masen, Edward's mother, had been sick as far as I could remember. They came to live with Dr. Cullen and his wife a few years ago. I don't know what exactly was wrong with her but it made Edward so sad whenever he was around her. _

_Edward returned with the cup of water and handed it to his mother. She couldn't get a firm grasp on it and so Edward held it up to her lips for her. He was so patient with her and they absolutely adored one another. It seemed unfair for a seventh grader to have to take care of his mother like that, but I guess I had done that my whole life with Renee. _

_Elizabeth began coughing and sputtering. Edward looked at me with horror. _

"_Sit her up! I'll go find Esme," I told him and then made my way out into the hallway. _

_I turned to look at them one last time. Edward was crouching over Elizabeth, pounding on her back to help her stop choking. She stopped and then let out a scream as the blood began pouring out of her nose. The coughing began again and this time there was even more blood. _

_I ran to the kitchen where I saw Esme taking the cookies out of the oven. She saw my face and ran into the den. I couldn't smell the chocolate chip cookies or see the white snow falling down outside. I could only make out the red and smell the salt, and then I passed out. _

* * *

The alarm clock went off and I sat up rubbing my eyes. I walked out to the bathroom and gasped when I looked into the mirror. I had large circles under my eyes. The past two nights had been murderous. I hadn't been able to sleep a wink since the Romeo and Juliet skit. My memories had been haunting me in my dreams. Memories that I had shut out for years were creeping into my conscious.

Sighing, I pushed all of my thoughts out of the way and walked down stairs to start on lunch. It was Thanksgiving, my favorite holiday. I pulled out all of the ingredients for my turkey and fixings. It was so exciting to be fixing all this food. Granted, it was way too much for Renee and me, but always made a few pies for the Cullens.

_Ah, the Cullens_.

I hadn't spoken to Edward since English class on Tuesday and he hadn't bothered me either. But it was okay; I could handle it. I wasn't ready for a confrontation from him, much in less my nightmares.

Shaking my thoughts away from Edward I pulled out all of the stuff for the cranberry sauce and green bean casserole. I started on the turkey and placed it in the deep fryer to cook.

Around nine I heard Renee making her way into the kitchen. Her hair was a mess and she had on her silly bunny slippers. I tried not to laugh, but she was so cute in the mornings.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty. Sleep well?"

"Grrr. Go away. It's way too early for cooking." She paused and then added, "Do you need any help?"

"No thanks, Mom."

She turned and went into the living room, plopped down on the couch, and began flipping through the television channels. Once I finished up I went and sat down beside her. Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade was on, of course.

It had always been our tradition: cook, Macy's Parade, eat, Dog Show, and sleep. It was perfect.

I watched in amusement at all the silly balloons and dance numbers.

I went back into the kitchen a few minutes later to start on my pies. Sweet potato was the best. I decided to add a chocolate one and then whipped up some pumpkin rolls. The house smelled wonderful. Renee walked in and tried to steal some of my sausage balls. I swatted at her hand with the spoon. She giggled and then went to answer the phone that had started ringing.

I raced up stairs to take a shower before I headed over to the Cullens' house. I threw on a dark blue sweater and a pair of khakis and then tried to dry out my soaking hair.

I heard the timer go off down below and I found Renee licking up the leftover cranberry sauce in the bowl.

"What? It's like 11:30. Hurry up so we can eat."

I picked up the pies and went over to the Cullens. I took a deep breath and knocked on the front door.

_Please don't be Edward. Please don't be Edward. _

My inner chant proved correct and Jasper opened the door.

"Hi Jasper. Here's the pies and stuff." I handed him the food and looked down at the Welcome mat.

"Thanks! Emmett will probably eat this in like two seconds flat, you know?" Jasper chuckled and I looked up to see him staring at me.

"Okay. Happy Thanksgiving!" I leapt off the porch and made it home in less time than it would have taken Emmett to eat a whole turkey.

Jasper was…well, creepy. He made you feel unnaturally calm and serene. Is Northern accent mixed with a touch of Texan was interesting, but I couldn't help but notice the scar on his left cheek or the tattoos on his forearms.

"Your turkey popped, Bella," Renee called when I entered the house.

Finally, we sat down for Thanksgiving lunch and dug in. It was delicious. Between the turkey covered in dressing, the sausage and cheese balls, and the sweet potato pie, I didn't know which one was the best.

Renee agreed it was superb and we left the dishes for later. The National Dog show had begun and it was time to get our nap on.

"Bella, Charlie called and wanted to know if you would go with him over to the Blacks." Renee looked at me through half closed eyelids and yawned.

"Oh, Mom, do I have to?" I sounded like a five-year-old but it didn't matter. Billy Black was Charlie's best friend and I hadn't been there since forever.

"Please, baby, just this once, for your father."

Of course I went. I hadn't spoken to my dad in so long and frankly I couldn't believe he had called in the first place.

I drove down to La Push and saw my dad's cruiser parked in front of the little red house. I could barely remember my time here. I tried to block out those dreadful fishing trips and annoying father-daughter moments with Charlie.

"Bells! I'm so glad you made it!" Billy was in the doorway and had a plate of ham on his lap.

"Come in. Come in. The Mariners' Recap is on."

I made my way passed him and found Charlie and Billy's son, Jacob, sitting in the Black's small living room staring at the T.V. screen.

I waited for a few minutes and then cleared my throat.

"Bells!" My father jumped up off the couch and gave me an awkward one armed hug. I gave him a small smile and he ushered me over to the couch.

"Have a seat. You remember Jacob, don't you?" I glanced over at Jacob. No, I didn't remember him, maybe if he was shorter and smaller, but this kid looked close to seven feet and those muscles had to be caused by steroids.

"Yeah, hi, Jake!" I gave my best fake smile I could muster and shook his hand.

"Hi, Bella. You look…different."

"Umph. Looks who talking." I looked around and saw a picture on top of the television.

"Oh, I do remember them." I pointed to Jacob's twin sisters. Rebecca and Rachel, I believe.

"Yup, they're about a year older than you." Billy had wheeled himself into the living area and was turning down the T.V.

"So, how's it going Bella?" I looked up at my father and snorted.

"Great, Mr. Swan." Charlie winced.

"That hurts, baby."

"Tell me about it." I watched Jacob and Billy banter back and forth over the last slice of ham. I resented them, somewhat. Charlie was never around and he had never been father-like towards me.

"How's school going? Your mom mentioned something about you dating the other week." Charlie smirked behind his mustache.

"Well, you're a little late with that. It's not true, anymore. It seems I have some serious trust issues with the male sex. I wonder where it comes from."

The room grew silent and Charlie shuffled his feet around. Jacob looked at me and then turned to Billy.

"So, did you hear about the dance? Embry's taking his cousin." Billy laughed and then gazed at me.

"Yeah, everyone's invited to that right? Son, you should take Bella!"

"What?"

"The Black and White ball at Forks, it's a tradition for La Push to come, too."

My mood was getting a workout now. One minute I was angry at Charlie and then shocked at Billy's statement.

"Bells, I'm so sorry but if you still need a date, I'm sure Jake would love to go with." Charlie looked at me and I had to say something.

"Sure. I'll call you, Jake, if it looks like I'll need you." _I bet you would love that. _Jacob glanced over at Charlie and gave me a goofy grin. _Oh, yeah, like a kid on Christmas. _

After awhile, Charlie and I made our way outside to go home.

"Thanks, Billy. Happy Thanksgiving."

I stood between the cruiser and my truck, ready to leave, when I caught sight of a book sticking out of Charlie's pocket.

"What's this Dad?" I read the cover, "Holidays for Dummies. Way to go. Did it tell you to set up your daughter with your best friend's son? You know what? I don't need your help or sympathy." I opened my door and slammed it shut and then drove home with the tears falling down my face.

Never in the past ten years had Chief Charlie Swan cared what happened to his little daughter. He had left me and my mother and he never looked back. It was too late for him to start loving me now.

When I entered my house Renee took one look at me and wrapped me in her arms.

"I'm so sorry, baby. I shouldn't have made you go. What happened?"

"Holidays for Dummies. Charlie had to read a book to figure out how to love me, how to be a family with me."

I started sobbing again and looked up to see Alice Cullen standing in my doorway.

* * *

**A/N**: Ha! That was pretty good. Thanksgiving at the Cullens' coming up next.


	8. Goldilocks and the Three Bears

**A/N:** Thank you so much for all of the Reviews, Favorites, and Alerts. I feel so loved! In that last chapter we stumbled upon a cliff, eh? Well, before we jump, let's find out what Edward thought of Thanksgiving, after you, my dears.

* * *

Goldilocks and the Three Bears

_Ding-dong. Ding-dong. _

I raised my eyes up from where I had been staring aimlessly at the floor. The doorbell was ringing away. I glanced at the television and shook my head at the screen. Do they really need such large balloons? I stood up to get the door.

As approached the entryway I saw Rose and Jasper standing out in the cold. _Great, they're here_.

I opened the door and Rosalie let out a very unenthusiastic, "Happy Turkey Day. Here are some cookies." I glanced down at the burnt plate of sugar cookies and tried to stifle my laughter.

"Thanks Rose. Jasper." Jasper nodded curtly at me and began to shut the door. I took the plate from Rose and walked into the kitchen.

"It smells great, Esme. Do you need any help?" Rose plopped down on the counter and Esme handed her a bowl. She began mixing the ingredients around and I went to find Emmett. The sugar cookies went with me, there was no way _I_ was eating that shit.

I walked through the foyer and caught a glimpse of Jasper standing outside talking to…Bella. She had her hands full of goodies and her faced looked pained. Jasper tried to make some sort of joke but Bella just took off back across the yard to her house. It looks like I'm not the only one who was uneasy around Mr. Freak Show.

After our little play in English I had done my best to ignore both Bella and Jasper. Whenever I was around Jasper it was like he could feel the sparks that had been emitting from Bella and me during our performance. I didn't want him to think I had some bullshit crush on her.

And then there was Bella. I was trying to stay the fuck away from her, too. She kept giving me these goo-goo eyes and I couldn't stand it.

"Dude, are those brownies?" Emmett snatched the plate of cookies from me as he made his way past me.

"No, Rose made you sugar cookies, Sugar." I chuckled as Emmett began choking on the burnt heap of rock.

He was still choking when we walked into the kitchen. While he got a drink of water from the fridge, he handed the plate to Jasper, who in turn dumped the cookies in the trash can.

"Hi Rosie! Those cookies were effing awesome." He leaned down and gave Rosalie a kiss on the lips.

"Emmett you better not have ate that whole plate. We're getting ready to eat lunch." Esme scolded him and began setting the dishes on the dining room table.

After we were all seated, Carlisle said a quick prayer and began to carve the turkey. We passed the food around and it was mostly quiet except for when Emmett would let out a moan or a sigh. Thanksgiving was Em's favorite. He always ate all of the food and we never had leftovers.

After the main courses, Esme set out the desserts and we dug in. It was delicious, almost like a mini course in itself. There was sweet potato pie, chocolate pie, sausage balls, pumpkin rolls, and Esme's specialty, Blueberry Delight.

As I placed the sweet potato in my mouth, I could make out each distinct spice and sugar. It melted in my mouth and the crust was perfectly crisp. The pumpkin roll was divine, as well. Each roll a perfect combination of sweet cream and pumpkin. The Blueberry Delight was heavenly but nothing could compare to the sausage. It was just the right size and consistency. The cheese blended with meat.

I let out my string of groans over the meal and Emmett tilted his head at me. I felt like my taste buds were on fire and my mouth was having its own personal orgasm.

"This is delicious, Emse," I stated between mouthfuls.

"I'm glad you like it. Make sure you tell Bella thank you when you see her next week." I choked on the last bit of sausage ball and Jasper started snickering.

"Bella made this? Brilliant." Emmett looked around at the food and grabbed another slice of chocolate pie. That pie was good. Not too hot and not too cold. Oh, God. I'm turning into Goldilocks and the Three Bears.

I looked over at Jasper and noticed he had a smug expression on his face. _Motherfucker stop giving me that look. _

But Jasper wasn't the only one staring at me, though. I noticed Alice for the first time today. Her short, spiky hair was pulled back into a small ponytail and she had on a blouse that had a cushion attached to her collar with pins sticking out of it. Alice Cullen only wore that shirt for one reason.

"Alice, why are you wearing that shirt?" Alice looked down from her trance at me and shrugged her shoulders.

"It's for the dance, Edward. It's time." Little, evil Pixie looked over at Carlisle and turned her attention to him.

"I think we should say what we're thankful for now, Dad." Carlisle smiled and nodded his head at us all.

Alice was hiding something from me, I could tell. Alice had always had this ominous presence about her and she definitely knew something.

I shook my head at her and watched as the table was quickly cleared and the family got ready for our tradition. This was always the way it went on Thanksgiving: cook, eat, eat, and give thanks.

It was an idea that was started the first year I moved here. _She_ always made us do it. _She_ always wanted to let Carlisle know how much she appreciated her brother's help. _She_ always wanted to say how thankful she was to be alive.

Carlisle went first saying how thankful he was for such a loving family. Esme was thankful for all of the children she had been blessed with. It was quite ironic how she was never able to have children of her own but now she had more than she could keep up with.

Rosalie was thankful for being a stuck-up bitch. No, wait, I heard that wrong. Rose was thankful for having a great boyfriend who always took care of her. I rolled my eyes at her.

Emmett stood up from the table and snapped the band around his sweat pants. "The thing I'm most thankful for right now is elastic waistbands!"

Jasper leaned over the table and smiled at us and said, "There is one day that is ours. Thanksgiving Day is the one day that is purely American. I'm thankful for O. Henry."

I cleared my throat and tried to think of something pleasant to say. _Shelter, food, and sex, they all sound nice._ I looked over at Esme and decided to just pick one.

"Food. I am thankful for food." I smirked at Emmett and looked expectantly at Alice. She was deep in concentration, focusing on something that lay outside of the dining room area.

"You mean you're thankful for Bella's ability to cook you food." She eyed me curiously and stated that she was thankful for the wonderful After-Thanksgiving Day Sale.

----

I pretended throughout the afternoon that there was no pink elephant sitting across the room staring at me. Jasper and Alice could tell something was going on but I didn't want to face it yet.

I tried to watch the football game that was on ESPN, but I couldn't focus.

Yes, Bella and I had been best friends, once upon a time, but there was no happily ever after for the two of us. Alice seemed to have it in her head we were going to be together for eternity.

"I think gray would be nice with blue. What do you think?" Alice handed me magazine and I glanced down at the models with their formal dresses on. A woman with a dark blue gown was standing beside a guy with a too tight, too frilly, gray suit on.

"No Alice." We had been at it for a few hours now. Alice would suggest a design or color, but mostly she would just suggest dates. One date in particular.

"Edward, be reasonable. You both need a date and she's your neighbor. Come on, be neighborly and ask her!" Alice pleaded with me and I looked into her puppy dog eyes.

"Stop, Alice. It's not worth it. She wouldn't want to go..." I paused and added, "Even _if _I wanted to go with her, which I don't."

"Look, whatever little thing happened between you two, it can't go on forever. I wish you would tell me what went wrong." She folded up her drawings and papers and made her way to the front door.

"I've seen all the pictures of you guys when you were younger. The two of you were inseparable. I've never seen you so happy before." She sadly opened the door and walked out. I looked over at Jasper and Em, they seemed like they wanted to agree with her.

"Shut the fuck up," I whispered then gave Esme a hug before heading upstairs to my room.

----

I paced around the room, unable to fall asleep. _So much for tryptophan_, I thought. I stared out my window into the dark night. The moon shone brightly and the stars were scattered about in the black velvet sky. It was breathtaking.

Across the walkway a glimmer of dark blue caught my eye. Bella had turned on the lights in her room. Her dark blue sweater wrapped around her curves so well and I could see her cream colored flesh peeking out as she stretched her arms up. Before I saw anymore of Bella Swan's body she closed the curtains to her window and my scenery went dark.

"Fuck you, too," I muttered and went to lay down on my futon. I preferred the couch rather than a stuffy bed. The white sofa was lined with a soft velvety comforter and I had plenty of pillows to keep me company. Alice detested my choice of bed but I thought it rocked.

I lay there thinking of how in tune Bella and I actually were with one another. We were always super aware of each other. Granted, we avoided the other but we were conscious of it. Whenever we walked down the hall, we tried to go around and not make eye contact. We never spoke to one another unless it was necessary.

Even now, it seemed Bella was aware of me.

---

I finally fell asleep and spent most of Friday in bed. Thankfully I got to miss out on Alice's wonderful After-Thanksgiving Day Sale shopping trip. How someone could get up so early to go shopping, I just couldn't comprehend.

The Holiday Season was a great time of year, but after spending the past few years with the Cullens, I was beginning to feel lonely. Esme and Carlisle were so in love. Jasper and Alice seemed to be perfect together. And Rose and Em were just plain gross, at times, with their make-out sessions.

I didn't mind them most of the time.

But most of the time I had been with Tanya. I began thinking of her late Friday night. I wondered what she was up to these days. I hadn't seen her around school or at the diner. I tried calling her but I only got her voicemail. Hopefully she would be at Rose and Jasper's party on Saturday. But she was probably out with her new boyfriend. Tanya had always been a fast one.

I could handle thinking of Tanya, though. Our relationship was great, while it lasted. I could handle Tanya, yes, but Bella, no way in Hell.

I thought back to all of the food she had cooked for our family. It was a custom with her. She had always brought food to share with us, seeing as how she and Renee would never be able to eat it all. But once upon a time, Bella had cooked in our kitchen and ate Thanksgiving with us. Not anymore, though.

I was Goldilocks and Bella was the Three Bears. I had been banished from her home. I had messed everything up and I couldn't go back. I wasn't good enough for her.

She represented the Three Bears in a way, that one was Love, one was Disappointment, and one was Abandonment. That was the way Bella had been in my life.

I drifted into unconsciousness with the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears on my mind.

* * *

**A/N:** I wonder how Alice would be on Black Friday. Wow, what a scary thought… Anyone know the origin of Goldilocks? Hmmm. I wonder what the deal is with Edward and Bella. Jasper and Alice? Charlie and Renee? Tanya? James? Jacob? If you want to find out click on the Review button, leave me some notes, and then I'll post the next chapter.

xoxo


	9. Awakening

**A/N**: Alrighty, thanks for your reviews, guys. Just so you know this chapter contains teen partying. Just so you know. And this chapter is dedicated to Elena. Glad you found it! ;)

Awakening

My eyes grazed over the sharp contours of his shoulder blades and back. They were so sharp and defined, every muscle toned and sculptured. He looked like a Greek god.

He raked his fingers through the bronze waves on top of his head. I held my breath as he turned around. I could make out the clear emeralds to his soul, the round eyes of Edward Cullen.

---

The night was icy and the leaves had scattered onto the frozen ground below. I tightened my grip around my jacket and strode on down the dark street. It was well past eleven o'clock. Most of the houses along the way were already settling in for the night and all of the lights were out.

_This was a mistake. _

I turned around to head home but stopped when I heard the noise coming from the house at the end of the lane. It was lit up like a Christmas tree. The tall brick house was alive and alight. People were spilling out of the front door and balcony. The wraparound porch weaved out of sight as it carried more into the backyard.

The little red mailbox at the end of the driveway read, '_The Hales'_. From the looks of it the party was just warming up.

_I am going to kill Alice!_

Less than fifty hours ago Alice Cullen had appeared in my doorway shortly after I had made it home from the Blacks. I dried my tears and looked at Alice. I hadn't known her for very long, only a few months. We hardly ever spoke, just a few pleasantries here and there. She was free and artistic and I was just a boring bookworm.

But she had just barged into my house and was dragging me upstairs to my room. I gave my mother a frightful glance but she laughed it off and told Alice to take it easy on me.

I sat down at my desk as Alice started laying down her _materials_ on my bed. Measuring tape, pins, and magazines were grouped neatly side by side.

"Well, stand up. We don't have all night," Alice commanded. I stood up and walked over to the little girl who was smiling at my appearance.

"You are such a beautiful girl, Bella. I wish you would wear that color more often." She pulled at the bottom of my blue sweater.

"Now off with it! I can't do anything with that." I giggled and began to peel off my clothing. I wasn't exactly sure why we were doing this but I had learned in the past not to mess with Alice when it came to clothing.

Alice shut the blinds to my room, sending them crashing down on the windowsill.

"You really should shut your windows at night, you know?" Alice peaked through the blinds and then turned to me. I didn't really mind having them open all of the time; there was nothing out there.

"Trust me. You need to keep these shut at night." Alice smiled to herself but I shook it off. She was so strange sometimes.

"Okay. I'll try to do that. But…why are you here?"

"Measurements! I need your measurements." I looked dumbfound at her.

"It's for the Black and White Ball, Bella. You promised I could help you with your dress."

"Oh, well, I'm a size 4. You can probably find something at the sales tomorrow morning."

Alice wrapped the tape measure around my stomach and then my chest. She stopped and looked up at me.

"I could never find a dress for you at a discount store. You need something special and unique."

Okay, that sounded great. I was going to tell her that Belk's or Macy's would suffice but she cut me off.

"I'm making our dresses, silly." That would explain why she was now holding fabric samples and magazine cut outs next to my face.

"A deep blue would be gorgeous, but he surely said no." I was busy watching Alice flutter around the room checking my closet and drawers that I barely heard what she said.

"Who?" I asked causally.

"Edward. He didn't like the idea."

"Why would Edward care what I wore to the dance?" Alice was beginning to scare me and the panic attack I'd had earlier was starting to come back.

"Edward would be a fine choice for a date. Are you going with anyone?" She paced around the room flinging my clothes everywhere.

"No. Edward is far from a gentleman and I don't think that would really work."

"I heard he was quite nice when he was younger," she knowingly commented.

"Yeah, before he turned thirteen. He lost a part of himself then and I don't think he ever found it again."

A long silence filled the room and I was beginning to think Alice was going to leave my comment alone.

"It was just a thought, though. Maybe you could help him find whatever it is he lost." I gave her a skeptical look and slipped into my pajamas.

"Or not," she grumbled.

"Anyway, I also came over to invite you to Rose and Jasper's party on Saturday night. Everyone is going to be there."

"No thanks, Alice. It's not really my thing."

Alice poked out her bottom lip, silently pleading with me to agree.

"Please, please, we really want you to go. We live right next door to one another and we never spend any time together. And besides, it's right down the street."

She had me and she knew it. I had always felt guilty for not spending time with the Cullens.

And that is what led me outside on a cold November night at the end of the road. I stood in front of the brick house and looked up at the full moon.

_Here goes nothing_.

I paused at the entrance, unsure if I should knock or just let myself in. Lauren and Tyler were curled up in one of the rocking chairs. They looked up at me with strange expressions on their faces.

I sighed and pushed open the door.

If the outside of the house looked like a Christmas tree then the inside looked like Buckingham Palace.

The lights were dim but it seemed someone had set up some flashing lights somewhere in the other room. Red, blue, green, and yellow were all reflecting off the back windows. A fog machine was also present. I could barely make out my black ballet shoes underneath me. It was mesmerizing.

"I didn't think you would show." I turned and was standing face to face with Rosalie Hale. She looked gorgeous in a gold sequined dress and platform heels. I was beginning to feel underdressed in the clothes Alice had picked out for me, but hopefully Rosalie just liked to be dressed up for things like this.

"I didn't think I was coming either." I grinned at her.

I caught a glimpse of Alice and Rosalie went to find Emmett.

"I can't believe you made me do this." I pointed at Alice who in turn passed me a cup of some kind of brown liquid.

"Let me guess. This isn't Coca Cola?" Alice shook her head and took a sip from her own cup.

"Come on, Bella. Let's dance."

"Uh…umm…No, Alice. I don't think that would be a good idea." Clearly Alice was a little under the influence. I did not dance, especially at a high school house party. The music was thumping in my ears and the lights were flickering in the background.

A sharp light caught my eye and I saw none other than James McQueen and his new found love, the slutty cheerleader. They were all over each other. It was purely disgusting.

Alice tugged on my arm, trying to get me to sway with the music with her. I gave in and started downing the nasty liquor in my cup.

_How could he? How could Alice and Rose? _I was not ready for the public display of affection from those two. I was over him but it still stung to see it up close and personal.

Alice seemed oblivious to my reaction. Thankfully Jasper came over and escorted Alice into one of the couches in the living room. I left the makeshift dance floor in search of some more alcohol. I wasn't one to drink but I figured it would help with my heartache.

I was right, by my third cup I could hardly walk straight. I was in search for a place to crash, a chair, a bed, anything. My weak tolerance for alcohol made me stumble and I feel right into someone's lap.

_Oh, shit. Not just anyone's lap, but Edward Cullen's. _

---

**EPOV**

It was getting late, almost one a.m. I was ready to leave. I watched as Emmett and Rose ran up the stairs, probably to her bedroom. Alice and Jasper were around somewhere.

The amount of alcohol they had managed to attain could outnumber an ABC store. Most of the party guests were so far gone, it was a good thing Rose and Jasper's mom wouldn't be home until Monday night.

I finished my cup and tossed it in the trash. Yeah, I was ready to go.

I stood up but was suddenly brought back down when Bella fucking Swan crashed into me! The bar stool flew to the floor and a loud thud sounded after it.

I looked down at Bella. _Fuck_. She was wasted.

I had never seen Bella at any parties in high school. And I was quite surprised to see her here. She frowned at me and tried to right herself. She tripped over my foot and I caught her by the arm.

"Can you watch where you're going?" I shouted at her.

"Okay. Okay. Can you just keep it down? My head hurts and these lights are killing me." Bella placed her hand on top of her head, as if it would stop her brain from pounding out of her skull.

I stood there with my hand still gripping onto her arm. She looked as if at any moment she could go toppling over again. I saw Rose coming this way and I called her over.

"Can you explain why Isabella, here, is totally fucked up?" Rose glared at me.

"James is here," Bella squeaked out.

"She needs to go home!" I was still staring at Rosalie. It was her fault. She had obviously invited her here.

"Please, take her, Edward. It looks like your leaving anyway." She walked out into the living room out of sight. I sighed and went to find my jacket.

When I returned I found Bella dry heaving into the kitchen sink. I helped her out the back door and we walked around to the front.

"It's so cold out here. How can they stand it?" Bella pointed to the large group of kids who were carelessly sitting in the grass. I shrugged at her.

"Beats me, but they're probably to numb to feel anything right now."

"Eddie!" _Oh, fuck._ The only time my time my name was said that way was if it was coming from Em or her, and it was way too high of a voice for it to be Emmett.

Tanya was sitting in a lawn chair by the front deck. She had her arms draped around the guy we had seen at the hospital that night. _Go figure._

I ignored her and walked right on past her. She called my name again but I never turned around.

By the time we reached the Swans' residence Bella seemed to have improved tremendously. She was upright and had managed to hold her stomach the whole way here.

"Thanks, Edward. See ya later." She turned to walk up her driveway, but I stopped her.

"Wait. Your mom. Let's sneak you in through the back."

"Oh, it's fine. She's not home." _Shit, Cullen. Let her be._

"Yeah, okay. See you at school then."

---

**BPOV**

I made it to my room and collapsed on the bed. Wow, what an interesting night.

I knew I was a goner the moment I landed in Edward Cullen's lap, but he surprised me. Sure, he was shocked, but at least he didn't throw me on the ground.

It was all a blur after that. I began to feel sick and my head was spinning. I knew my feet were moving and I could feel the cold coming from the night air. Although, I couldn't make out who was making those awful screeching noises. Edward? No someone was calling Edward.

I shook it off and kept walking. Thank God, I made it home without losing my guts. I was aware of Edward still lingering beside me. I tried to thank him but he mentioned Renee. It was okay, though, she was staying late at her pottery class or something.

I lay there looking up at my ceiling. The Ball was in exactly two weeks. I needed a date. I thought about what Alice had said, but decided to take a look at my other options first.

I pulled my old yearbook out and turned to last year's junior class.

Ben was taking Angela. I scribbled through his name. Alec had the flu. I reached James and begin furiously crosses out his name, his face, and his memory from my life. Mike Newton was a big no-no. He was such a little golden retriever. I would spare myself the misery.

I flipped around and looked at a few of the sophomores.

Eventually I landed on Edward Cullen.

I retracted my blinds and looked across the yard. His blind were open as well. I could see him sorting through some papers at his desk. He threw something in the trash and began ripping something up; it looked like a photograph.

He faced his bed and reached to take his shirt off. I couldn't hold in my gasp.

My eyes grazed over the sharp contours of his shoulder blades and back. They were so sharp and defined, every muscle toned and sculptured. He looked like a Greek god.

He raked his fingers through the bronze waves on top of his head. I held my breath as he turned around. I could make out the clear emeralds to his soul, the round eyes of Edward Cullen.

He couldn't see me, thankfully. My lights were off in the room. I stared at him as he stared at my bedroom. I wondered what he was searching for.

The pit of my stomach began to ache and butterflies swam around. My body was awakening to the sight of this boy. His rippled stomach and pecks, called to me. He was gorgeous. I took in his appearance for the first time in what seemed like forever.

He had grown taller in the last few years. I remember when we would stand back to back on our tippy toes to see who was the tallest. Now it seemed I would be the one on my toes trying to peer into his deep green eyes.

The stubble on his chin proved that he was no longer the boy next door that I remembered but he was slowly becoming a man.

His hair was more unruly the ever. No longer could it be consider a cow lick, that guy had sex hair.

As I stared at him through the window something clicked.

I reached for my phone and quickly dialed the number.

"Fuck, Rose. We made it. Now leave me alone."

"Umm…hi."

"Bella? How the fuck did you get this number?" He opened his blinds and I turned on my lights.

"I remembered it." I paused. "Take me to the dance, Edward."

"You're drunk," he replied.

"I'm desperate." That was all I could muster and then I silently propped my window open. I leaned my head out and Edward followed suit.

"Why would I want to go with you?" he yelled and then ducked his head, forgetting that his parents were actually home.

"You know how I feel," I whispered into the phone. "I saw Tanya and I know you heard about James. We don't really have any…options."

It was silly, I know. We really didn't need a date to the dance. It was the 21st century, for crying out loud. But I wanted to see if Edward would go with me, maybe we could be friends, again?

"Bella…I don't think this is a good idea." He was hesitating and I looked at him, he was so broken.

"I promise I won't hurt you again."

We sat there in the cold, staring at each other. We both knew what this would mean.

"Okay," Edward grumbled, "But I am not wearing anything that is fucking pink!"


	10. Two Peas In A Pod

Two Peas in a Pod

I tossed and turned all throughout the night. My dreams were so vivid and alive. I could recall some things about them. Edward was starring in my dreams and the Black and White Ball was coming up.

But I couldn't for the life of me determine if it was a dream or if Edward and I were really going to the dance.

I decided to hide out under my covers before I sorted through what happened last night. My head was throbbing too hard for me to form any coherent thoughts at the moment.

I heard a loud knocking noise and I started to panic when I heard footsteps coming up the stairs.

Renee had mentioned trying out a new church this morning. That was why partying and getting drunk seemed like such a good idea last night. Renee wouldn't be here to witness my transgressions.

The door creaked open and I ducked my head. I didn't want to face her when she discovered how hung-over I was. It was already well past noon, she had to know something was up; I wouldn't normally sleep this late into the afternoon.

I heard the thud of a glass being sat down on my dresser and the bed instantly took on some more weight. I peeked out from under the covers to gage Renee's reaction.

"Ahhh! What the hell are you doing in my room?"

Edward quickly jumped up from the bed and took the covers with him _and_ me right along with it.

I grabbed my head as Edward pulled the blinds up.

"Wakey, wakey," he sang and then handed me the glass of water and some pills.

"You look like shit, Swan", he said his jade eyes sparkling with humor. I huffed at him and tried to stand up.

"What the…what's going on?" I was so confused. My mind was trying to catch up with my eyes, but my muddled brain couldn't understand why Edward Cullen was in my room_. Was I still dreaming?_

I pinched my arm and let out a yelp. "That hurt." I rubbed the spot and looked up at Edward.

"I understand if you don't really remember what happened last night and it's okay if you want us to just forget about it, but…um…" Edward looked down at his shoes and ran his fingers through his already tousled hair.

My dream from last night slowly began to rematerialize in my head: Edward with his shirt off, the Ball, and me somehow getting the courage to ask him out.

"That really happened?" I whispered to myself. Edward looked scared, like, I was going to attack him or something.

"Yeah, I just came over to make sure you made it through the night."

"Yeah, I'm great," I said sarcastically and rolled my eyes.

"Well, let me get this straight…" he paused and I nodded my head for him to continue. "We're going to the dance, right? With each other? To get back at Tanya and McQueen?"

"Only if you want to. Sure."

Edward grinned at me and I blew out a breath I didn't realize I was holding. I didn't think he would really be up for it after he had a while to sleep on it.

"If we do this thing there's no going back. We'll have to talk and act like we want to be together. This can't be done halfway. No one will believe us if it's not real." I started pulling out some of my clothes and things so I could get ready for the day.

"Okay, I understand. But it is going to be really hard not to hate you." I turned around, shocked that he would be so forward and honest. He ran his hands through his hair and groaned.

"It was a joke, Bella. Don't worry I think I can handle being within five feet of you for a few weeks." He chuckled and I hid my face, not wanting him to see the tears that were threatening to spill from my eyes.

"Look, why don't you get ready and we can go somewhere. You know, hang out and see if this can really work, before we go to school tomorrow." I gave him a nod, and after a quick smile, he was gone. I went and shut the door behind him.

I tried to even out my breathing but it was a hard thing to do. _Pull it together, silly goose._

A few weeks, that was all it was going to take. Two tops, and then we go back to ignoring one another.

After a shower and a few pep talks, I slowly made it down to the kitchen and found Edward sitting silently at the kitchen table.

"If you're hungry the cereals in the pantry and you know where we keep the milk."

Edward got up and walked around the room, taking in his surroundings.

"It's been a while, but it looks exactly the same. Doesn't your mother ever repaint or…remodel?"

I let out a laugh at his statement. "Renee hasn't changed this house since Charlie walked out that front door sixteen years ago." I looked around the small room. No, Renee had never changed a thing. It looked like this when I was born and it looked like this when Edward and I ate breakfast here on Saturday mornings when we were twelve.

"So, want to go to Port Angeles or something?" Edward looked at me and I could tell his eyes were filled with apprehension.

"That would be nice." We stood there for a few minutes, bobbing our heads, and looking at each other awkwardly.

Finally, Edward shoved past me and opened the front door. I went on past him and walked out to his car. He opened my door and ran over to his side. I was slightly stunned at his chivalry, but decided to ignore it.

The drive to Port Angeles took no time at all, thanks in part to Edward's driving skills, or madness, depending how you looked at it.

I told him to stop at the pier when we reached the water front. I had never seen the water up close, Renee usually only came to Port Angeles to shop or go to the movies. We never had time for sightseeing.

Edward parked the car and we got out and slowly began to walk towards the Ferry docks.

It was off season for tourists, so it was fairly peaceful and there was hardly anyone else at the harbor.

Edward and I strode down the pier. Or more, I tried adamantly to keep up with his stride. His legs were longer than mine and I was struggling to keep up with him. I started ahead of him and then he increased his pace. We broke out into a race and by the time we reached the edge we were both out of breath. Edward went to speak but I shushed him before he could ruin the moment.

The harbor set out before us was so devastatingly beautiful. It was well past five o'clock and the sun was low on the horizon. There was a minor chill in the air but it wasn't too harsh. I looked up at Edward who was focused on the small boats in the distance.

We stood there quietly, not wanting to break the enchantment around us. An eagle swooped down capturing a fish between its talons. It flew past us and landed on the top of the deck. It picked at the fish with its beak and never broke eye contact with us.

"Wow. That's fucking awesome." I rolled my eyes at Edward's vocabulary and gave him a small smile.

"How about we go find something to eat?"

Edward bounced with eagerness at the idea and we chatted about the eagle and waterfront as we made our way back to the car.

Edward pulled up in front of an Italian restaurant and opened the car door for me. When we reached the front of the restaurant I reached out for the door but Edward stopped me and did it for me. I was beginning to think I would have to go back on what I said to Alice about Edward not being a gentleman.

I snickered under my breath and Edward gave me a quizzical look. I shook my head at him and felt my cheeks grow warm at my embarrassment.

The hostess seated us in the back of the restaurant in a nice secluded booth. I sat across from Edward and looked down at my menu for something to eat.

I was starving. After my late morning and the abrupt appearance of Edward, I had missed out on both breakfast _and_ lunch.

The waitress came around asking for our drink orders. Edward asked for two cokes and I didn't protest. I looked up at him and caught him staring at me.

"What? Are you okay?" I was perplexed as to why he was staring at me to begin with. He looked away and glanced at the waitress as she placed our sodas on the table.

I ordered the first thing I saw on the menu. I had already forgotten what I wanted to eat. Edward asked for the same thing and the lady left the table.

Edward had continued his staring, and so, I stared back at him. There was a friction in the air between us and I wondered if Edward could feel it as well. He quickly glanced down at the table and coughed.

The awkwardness was in full force and I didn't know how to break the glass. It had been so long since I had an actual conversation with Edward. How could we start, what could I say? I said the first thing that came to my still hazy mind.

"How have you been?"

"I'm so sorry."

We blurted out at the same time. We laughed at the other and I tried to persuade him to continue.

"How are Renee and your dad?" I took a sip of my coke and nodded at him.

"They're both good. Renee's up to something new every week now, pottery, painting, and religion. I saw Charlie at Thanksgiving. He's still pulling the same junk." Edward smiled in understanding.

"How's the Cullen Clan doing?"

"They're crazy as always. Alice and Em didn't come home last night from the party, so Esme was throwing a fit. And Carlisle spends most of his time at the hospital now. They opened a new cancer wing." Edward stopped talking and looked down at the table, again.

I was about to say something, anything, but then the stupid, slutty waitress stepped up with our food.

"Here you go. Can I get you anything else?" Edward ignored her flirty smile, and I shook my head no, trying my best not to give her the death glare.

I tried to start the conversation again, but I didn't know what to say. There was so much to apologize for and Edward would probably never forgive me. But I had to try anyway.

"Edward, I'm sor-"

"Look it's cool, don't worry about it. Shit, it's whatever." We ate in silence and finished our meal.

I reached for my wallet and Edward pushed my hand away.

"I got it." Oh, yeah. I was most definitely going to tell Alice I had changed my mind about Edward not being a gentleman.

I dreaded the ride home because I knew I would have to say something. Halfway through the trip I decided to break the silence and ask the one question that had burning in my mind since last night.

"Why did you agree do go to the Ball with me?" Edward stuttered and I told him to keep his eyes on the road.

"Fuck. Hell if I know. I just figured it was a good idea. Tanya would flip if she found out we were going and I honestly would love to see McQueen's face when we show up at the dance together. Damn, anyone's face really." He grinned at me and continued talking. "No one will believe that this is really…real. They think we hate one another."

"I thought we did." I smiled at him sheepishly and ducked my head, trying to hide the blush that was creeping into my pale cheeks.

"No I don't hate you, I just don't trust you. Is that fair enough?"

I nodded at him. I could relate to that. I felt the same way about most men, too.

----

The remainder of the drive home was quiet. I thanked Edward for dinner and scurried up the porch. The lights were on inside and I found Renee sitting on the sofa.

"Where have you been? Do you know that I almost called your father?" Renee looked worried and I quickly tried to assure her that everything was fine.

She didn't press me for more information, so I swiftly ran up the stairs before she could come up with any questions to ask. I just wanted to go to bed.

I lay there all night replaying today's events over and over in my head. It was fairly nice. No one yelled or blew up from anger. It was a miracle I didn't end up in tears. I remembered Edward's face at the mention of the new hospital wing. He was so sad.

---

I finally drifted into a restless slumber and awoke to a horn blaring outside.

I got up and looked out the window to see Edward Cullen leaning up against his Volvo.

I dressed and went downstairs. Renee was gone again. I grabbed a few chocolate muffins and went outside.

"Do you need a ride to school?" Edward opened my door for me and I glanced around to see if anyone was watching us.

"Sure, why not." I climbed in and my nerves had reached their peak as we drove into the high school parking lot.

---

People stared at us all throughout the day. Edward put on the charm as he walked me to my classes and guided me through the crowded hallways.

By lunch, we had become the laughing stock of the day. Emmett ran up to us in the lunch line and smacked Edward on the back.

"I knew it. Rose and Alice wouldn't believe me, but I knew I saw you guys this morning." Emmett stood there with a huge grin on his face. He pointed at me and then he pointed at Edward.

"Yeah, motherfucker, we _are_ going to the dance," Edward said reading his mind. Emmett bounced after Rose as she entered the cafeteria.

"This'll be good. Want to sit with me?" I stared at him in disbelief. All day long Edward had given me a chance to turn him down. He still thought this wasn't going to work.

"Let's get this over with." I followed him to his table and we sat down between Alice and Emmett.

"Well, look who it is. You two finally decided to take a hint." I glared at Jasper and cursed his perceptive mind. He had been nagging on me since English last week. It was like he could _feel_ the buzz around Edward and me.

Alice was jumping up and down in her seat, barely controlling her excitement.

"Oh, Bella, we're going to be the best of friends. I just know it." Emmett let out a groan and I just turned my eyebrows up at Alice.

"This is strange; I thought you guys didn't even like one another." Leave it to Rosalie to be the killjoy.

"Well, Rose maybe Edward was just the friend no one knew I ever had." _Ouch, that hurt_. The truth always did. Edward stood up to leave and everyone at our table and the next one over looked at him.

I followed out of the cafeteria and we made our way to English class.

"I'm sorry. That didn't come out right back there. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, don't worry. I'm_ fine_," he hissed at me and we stood silently outside Mr. Mason's door.

The bell rang and kids started pouring out of the lunchroom. Mike Newton was skipping merrily down the hall. I prayed he would slip or trip.

He didn't.

"So Bella, I heard you needed a date for the dance. And well, I was wondering if you would go with me?" I stared at him and my mouth was hanging open.

I felt two arms wrap around me and Edward said, "Your too late, Newton. I already asked her."

I grinned up at him stupidly. I was glad he had seemed to have brightened up. James walked by and pushed past us.

"How rude!" Mike exclaimed. Edward laughed and I twisted out of his arms and went into the classroom.

James was standing at my desk, waiting for me. I sat down ignoring him.

"Well, well, well, Bella. Cullen?" I took a deep breath waiting for him to continue. "You guys will look wonderful together at the dance. Two peas in a pod."

I glared at him and turned my attention to the front of the class just as Edward walked in the door. He smiled at me and I immediately relaxed.

"Yup, I think Edward is way better than the other scum I was considering as my date." I smiled up at James and he scuffed and turned to go to his desk.

Angela walked in and went to the back of the class. I gave her a questioning look, but then heard someone sit down beside me. I didn't have to turn around to realize who it was.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked his forehead wrinkled in worry.

Mr. Mason started class and the room quieted down.

"Yeah, I'm good" I replied with a smile. And it was the truth.

I _was_ fine. For the first time in the last 48 hours I really felt like everything was going to be okay.

**Analysis! Evaluate! Please Review! **


	11. Battle Scars

**A/N: Lots of hits but not very many reviews for the last chapter. **** I was supposed to be studying for my finals but instead I wrote this chapter. If I fail college I blame you! …Okay, go read! **

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Battle Scars

The week flew by and I spent more and more time with Bella. I never would have believed it, but I actually enjoyed her company.

Our first _date_ last Sunday had been a disaster. I wasn't sure if she really wanted to do this or not. I kept thinking this was just some kind of pity party for her, she was only feeling guilty and just wanted to clear her conscious.

Monday was priceless. No one could accept the fact that we were together. Emmett laughed his ass off and Alice wouldn't stop saying _I told you so_.

It really hurt when Bella told Rose we had been friends all along. None of them had known Bella or me, then, and they never understood why we didn't talk anymore.

I wanted to call the whole deal off but then Mike Newton tried to ask her to the dance. And, well, I got all defensive…jealous even.

I stood out in the hall waiting for Angela to come by so I could ask her to switch seats with me. I made up a good excuse about not being able to see the board. She gave me a polite smile and agreed.

When I went into the classroom my Friendly Green Giant went into overdrive as I caught the end of James McQueen's little speech to Bella. How dare he fucking treat her like that! He dumped her!

Bella looked up from her desk and she gave me a nod.

"Yup, I think Edward is a way better date then the scum I was considering as my date."

I was elated. Bella had stood up for me. I thought for a second he was going to break her but Bella really pulled that off. I almost believed her myself.

---

The next few days were a blur. Bella and I spent most of our time on the back steps of my house, just chatting and catching up. We didn't talk about anything major. We discussed colleges, movies, music, and my family.

Bella was always eager to hear about the Cullens and Hales.

On Friday the rain was pouring outside, so we stood under the shelter from the back porch.

"So yeah, like in the fifth grade the teachers said we didn't have to write Valentine cards to one another. And, well, I got one." I paused and watched Bella's face light up in remembrance. "I got a card that read: Be mine, Valentine, Love Bella."

"Oh, shut up, Edward. I did not write that!" Bella was smiling at me and her cheeks had turned fiery red.

"I fucking swear you did! I still have it."

And this is where our conversations would stop. Things would always get too heavy, too personal. Neither one of us wanted to talk about our falling out. Anything even closely related to my mother or eighth grade was off limits.

We stood there in silence. The rain was coming to a stop. I glanced towards the window and saw Esme peeking out between the curtains. I sighed and turned to Bella.

"Would…do you think…" There was no easy way to say it, but Bella had been reluctant to come inside my house. Too many memoires and regrets she said.

"Would like to come inside?" I blurted out before I had a chance to chicken out.

"I guess so." Bella hesitated as I opened the door for her. "Maybe I can get a glimpse of that dress Alice has been working on for the dance."

She eyed me curiously and I threw my hands up in the air.

"Don't look at me. She keeps those things under lock and key."

It was true. There was one week before the Black and White Ball and Alice had been slaving over the girls' dresses day and night. I had tried to sneak a peek for Bella, but Alice had stopped me before I even laid my hand on the doorknob. I don't even think Rosalie had seen the dresses.

We walked into the house and over to the kitchen. Esme was taking out a pan of cookies and she stopped when she saw Bella enter the room.

"Oh, Bella, dear, I am so happy to see you. It's been so long!" She wrapped Bella into an enormous hug and gave me a precarious look.

"Would you like to help me with the cookies, there?" Bella nodded her head and they stared at each other for a few minutes.

"I'd love to Esme."

I heard footsteps on the stairs and turned to see Emmett barreling into the kitchen. I jumped out of the way and he pulled Bella into a big bear hug causing her to squeal as he twirled her around the room.

"Bella! It's so nice to see you again. How was Italy?" He grinned stupidly at her.

"I've never been to Italy, you idiot." Emmett looked sadly at Bella and picked up a cookie.

"Well, your name's Bella!" He exclaimed.

I stifled my laughter and watched Em and Bella banter back and forth about why her mother had named her Isabella, even though, she wasn't Italian. They headed out of the kitchen into the living room and I followed behind them. Rose and Jasper were lounging on the couch watching Jeopardy. Emmett plopped down beside Rosalie.

We stood there for a few minutes and I watched as Bella scanned the room: the large windows looking out into the backyard, the baby piano against the wall, and the photos that lined the mantle. Her eyes lingered on Jasper whose interest was solely in the television screen. Her curious brown eyes grew wide as she took in the many scars that covered his face and arms. Jasper suddenly turned to look at her and Bella's face blushed crimson as she scurried away from his gaze. Bella wandered over to the mantle as her attention shifted to all the photos that were placed along it. As her eyes roamed over the last image she froze and I saw a tear slip down her face.

I couldn't tell which picture it was, but before I could get over to her, Bella turned around with a bright smile and said, "Have you guys seen Alice?"

Right then the pixie popped up and tapped Bella on the shoulder. Bella jumped and ran to the other side of the room.

"Where did you come from?"

"Mississippi," Alice stated. "Now, no you cannot see your dress it isn't finished and I need a color. Please, hurry."

Bella looked shocked for a few minutes and then she raised her finger as Alice began to speak.

"Topaz."

Topaz? What the fuck Bella? What kind of color is that?

I was about to open my mouth to object, but then Emmett, who had stepped out of the room and was coming back in, had a handful of chocolate in his hands. I snatched one when he walked by. He punched me and then placed one in his mouth.

He spit it out into his other hand and tossed the other ones on the coffee table.

"Eww! That's gross. What is that?"

Everyone in the room reached for the chocolate and Bella cried, "Don't do that. They're like gold. We do not waste chocolate cherries."

"Damn straight, Emmett. This was my mom's fa-" I looked over at Bella and she turned around, pretending to not have heard what I said.

Alice cleared her throat and walked up to Bella.

"You. Us. Saturday night. The Crazy House." Bella looked around the room with a confounded look on her face.

"It's the last party before the Black and White Ball. You know? So you can claim your stake and all." Rose looked at Bella to make sure she understood.

She didn't.

"The Crazy House? What is that?"

Emmett laughed and told Bella, "It's at that Stanley bitch's house. Her parents are out of town and you can go show the world you really are going with Edward."

It was so lame. Whenever there was some kind of game or dance Jessica Stanley would usually throw a huge party. It was the way to mark your territory or whatever.

Bella smiled at me. "I would love to go."

---

"What's up with Jasper Hale?" Bella whispered to me after we had made our way upstairs. I glanced behind her to make sure no one was coming up the stairs.

"I mean, word on the street is that the dude sleeps in a casket!" Bella pointed down at the floor below as she half whispered, half yelled at me.

I couldn't stop the laughter building up inside of me. "Word on the street? Really?" I couldn't blame her, though. Jasper was some kind of strange.

But it was wrong to judge him that way. I learned that with Bella throughout this whole week. I couldn't judge Jasper any more than I could Bella. So Jasper looked a little scary and he was somewhat standoffish. Somehow Alice had come to love him with all of her heart and Bella and I had, well…I'm not sure what we have.

We continued walking into my room. Bella paused at the doorway and then went over to my bookshelves. The place was a mess; there were books and music compositions everywhere. I went to clean up some of the mess on my bed, but Bella stopped me.

"Don't worry about it. I can see most everything in here from my room." She laughed and picked up a random book from the floor. I sat on the couch and we continued our conversation about Jasper. Bella was convinced with the whole coffin thing, but asked her if she had seen any at the party last week. She shook her head and sat beside me.

I had been sitting there silently inside my head and I missed the quiet knock on the door. Bella looked up and poked me in the side. I looked up and saw Jasper Hale. He crossed his arms and leaned against the doorframe.

I held my breath and was afraid of what he might have heard. Bella looked at Jasper and gave him an encouraging smile.

Alice walked up and wrapped her arms around him. "Go ahead, Jas. As long as you can remember it, you should tell it."

I shifted nervously in my seat, anxious to hear the truth behind Jasper's looks. He took a deep breath and began.

"I was in the Army ROTC in my high school in New York. I loved the military, was in the top of my class, and I couldn't wait to join up as soon as I graduated."

"But that was just in the beginning of freshman year."

"When moms went to Texas I decided to go with her. It was a completely different atmosphere down there. I wanted to try new things."

Jasper paused and Alice gave him a squeeze on the arm. He continued.

"I stumbled upon a different type of Military outside the school grounds." I looked at Bella who also seemed to have a questioning look on her face.

"Another type of Army and Brotherhood. A gang."

"I started off as a junior and was working my way up to hard-core, where most of the killing and things took place. It was rough to get in and even rougher to get out!"

I placed my hand on top of Bella's. I knew whatever he was going to say next wasn't going to be pretty.

"These scars," he pointed to the small crescent-shaped bumps that ran over his neck and arms, "they were caused by a razor. That was how you got in."

Bella gasped.

"And this one," he pointed to the long ragged scar that ran down his cheek, "that was the only way out."

Jasper looked down at his feet and I could see the tears forming in his eyes.

"Thankfully, I got out, but I know of a lot of people who made it out in a wooden box. I was lucky."

He grinned at Alice and Bella finally spoke.

"Where was Rosalie all that time?"

"In New York, but that's her own story to tell."

Jasper and Alice left the room and Bella let out a huge breath.

We were both sitting there speechless, unable to comprehend what Jasper had gone through. We might have had a pretty fucked up past, but Jasper had the real battle scars to prove his.

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**A/N: Okay this was a fluff chapter, I hope you enjoyed Jasper's story. I know we really want to know what happened to Bella and Edward. All I'm going to say is that, "**_**When it rains, it pours**_**."**

**Happy Christmas! Merry Holidays! **

**Reviews are better than presents on Christmas morning! ;) **


	12. A Teardrop from the Sky

**A/N: Please take the time to read the following before going on to the story:**

**I am so, so, so sorry it took me so long to update. The story just wasn't coming to me. **

**Big thanks to my unofficial beta, MEP; I couldn't do it without you.**

**During my hiatus I did write a one-shot for the 'To Kill a Cullen' Contest. It's called Golden Eyes. Go check it out, under my profile. Read and review it here: http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5692455/1/Golden_Eyes Vote for it here: http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2171754/ from February 9****th**** – February 23****rd****. **

**This chapter is extra long. Okay, now go eat your heart out.**

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A Teardrop from the Sky

The images had flooded my eyes and invaded my every thought, Jasper with his scars and memories. I couldn't imagine the physical pain he had gone through. The silver bumps along his arms looked like moon crescents and the long scar on his face was terrifying, deep and red. I couldn't believe we had thought of him so badly. He wasn't a bad person, just someone who had made bad choices.

Even Edward was afraid of him, but Alice, Alice had seen past the blemishes and she loved him as much as Jasper loved her. It was so sweet. Their soft embraces and longing looks was a beautiful thing.

I sighed and looked across at my window and over to Edward's room. His light was on and I caught a glimpse of his bronze hair. Edward Cullen was going to be the death of me. I could feel it, the slow beating of my heart speeding up whenever I was around him. My palms would sweat and I couldn't think straight.

Yes, I was falling in love with Edward Cullen, hard and fast.

Staring out the window I noticed the sun was beginning to dip below the horizon. The yellow and orange bounced off of my windowpane. It was twilight.

I pulled myself away from the window and went over to my closet. Tonight was _the_ night. Edward and I would go to the party and show Tanya and James that we didn't need them. We really were going to the Ball together. I let out a deep breath and sat back on my bed. It was hopeless. I had nothing to wear.

And so I sat there, staring at my open closet, willing an outfit to fly out at me. I was concentrating on my predicament when I heard a tapping noise coming from somewhere in the room and then there was a loud screech.

I looked up and over at my window. The tree branch was moving across the glass. I went over to the window and looked down.

Alice Cullen was standing at the foot of the tree. I opened the window and leaned my head out.

"Alice! What are you doing? I have a door, you know?" I called to her.

Alice cackled and said, "I was just passing by with Rose. We went shopping and I thought you could use some new things for tonight."

Alice lifted a large bag and threw it up in the air. "Catch!" she yelled.

I reached for the bag and miraculously caught it.

"I would have come to the door, but your mom seems to be entertaining guests out front and I didn't want to impose." Alice shrugged her shoulders and then flittered away, calling out that she would see me later.

I couldn't fathom who Renée could be talking to outside, but I didn't think much of it. I reached down into the bag and pulled out my outfit for the night.

It was a pair of dark skinny jeans with a black top. The jeans looked too tight to fit over my thighs, but the top was beautiful. The sleeves were wide and went down to my elbows and the back was partially open with an open flower pattern at the top. It was perfect.

I slipped off my sweats and slid into my jeans. Well, I pushed and pulled to get into my jeans. They were skin tight. I quickly pulled the shirt over my head and looked into the mirror. The shirt dipped down to my lower back and you could see my skin through the holes.

I scrunched my damp hair making it curly. The weather in Forks was so unpredictable; the sky was clear now, but by tonight it could be pouring.

I searched for some boots and a coat and then headed downstairs.

As I approached the kitchen I could hear voices outside. Alice was right, Renée was entertaining guests. I poked my head out the front door and found Billy and Jacob Black. Renée was sharing the swing with Jacob and Billy was sitting back in his wheelchair.

"I was wondering when you were going to show up." Renée looked at me. "Where are you going, young lady?"

I blushed and looked down at the floorboards. "Jessica Stanley is having a party tonight." I shrugged my shoulders and looked over at Jacob.

He had a huge grin on his face and he waved at me. "Hey, Jake. What are you guys doing here?"

It was a little strange. Billy Black was Charlie's friend, not Renée's.

"Well, Jake was just dying to see you, Bella," Billy spoke up. Now it was Jacob's turn to blush. His dark cheeks turned beet red.

I laughed it off and Jake stood up and walked over to where I was still standing in the doorframe.

I stood there awkwardly, waiting for Jacob to say something.

"So are we still going to the Ball?" Jacob looked at me and nodded his head encouragingly. It was cute, in that younger kid way.

"I don't know, Jake. I mean, I'm going with Edward." I offered him a small smile.

"Do you have the audacity to doubt my veracity and insinuate that I prevaricate?" Jacob stated.

I stared at him, not sure what he had just said.

"Was that English?" I looked at him with a confused expression on my face.

"Nah, just something I learned in English class. Sorry I just wanted to try that out." He shrugged his shoulders. "It means, Do you thinking I'm lying? So, if things don't work out with Cullen just know that I'm here."

I punched him playfully on the arm and turned to Renée. "Mom, I'm going to hang-out with Alice and Rose. I'll be back by…?" I trailed off hoping she would give in and let me stay out past my normal curfew.

"One, but not a moment after, do you understand?" I grinned at her and said my goodbyes to Jacob and Billy and headed over to the Cullens' house.

-:-

We pulled up at Jessica's house around ten o'clock. The cars were already lined up and down the block. Edward went over to my side, opening the door and taking my hand. I smiled at him and we walked towards the house. Alice, Jasper, Rose, and Emmett followed behind us. Somehow we had all managed to fit into Edward's Volvo.

Hand in hand we strode up to the front door. The music was blaring and I swear it sounded like Britney Spears. That was so the 90's. Edward looked around nervously, making eye contact with Ben, and I waved at Angela.

Once inside the others split off and Edward and I began to weave in and out of the crowded house. It looked like all of the students from Forks High were here; all three hundred of them.

"I'm gonna go grab some drinks. You want anything?" Edward yelled above the music. I shook my head yes and wedge into the corner, away from the thrashing bodies. Edward made his way over to the kitchen and his head ducked out of sight.

I stood there bobbing to the music. I felt a pair of eyes on me and I quickly scanned the room.

James McQueen was across the room, staring at me while he danced with one of the cheerleaders from school. I briefly wondered where his girlfriend was, but got lost in my thoughts as I watched him move my way.

I panicked and scooted towards the exit. I ran past the kitchen not finding Edward and pushed into the back porch. I stopped at the balcony and tried to catch my breath. James obviously didn't have a girlfriend anymore, and I was his new target.

"There you are. I thought I saw you inside." The cool voice sounded into the dark night. The porch was mostly empty, a few burnt out seniors, but that was it. I immediately regretted leaving my jacket in Edward's car for the temperature seemed to have dropped.

James placed his hand on my back. His hot fingers glided across my bare skin. I shivered and brushed him off.

"Fuck off, James." I told him.

"Oh, come on, baby. I just wanted to ask you to the Ball next week." He pleaded. His eyes hooded over with lust and I knew he wasn't asking only about the dance. I took a step back towards the balcony, taking in his appearance. He was definitely drunk or high. I wasn't sure which, but I was frightened.

James spun me around and pressed his body into mine. I couldn't move and I couldn't speak. James leaned down ghosting his fingers over my cheek and whispered in my ear, "You belong to me. Not some piece of shit, like Cullen." He smiled and I heard the screen door swing open and felt someone staring at my back.

-:-

**EPOV**

She was trying to kill me. Edward Cullen was going to be killed by Bella Swan. Her back was exposed and I could see the creamy skin though the open patterns. Her jeans were skin tight, leaving nothing to the imagination.

I groaned involuntarily as she set her jacket down in the seat. I saw Alice out of the corner of my eye, she was smirking at me. I gave her the finger and led Bella towards the house.

It was going to be a long night. The place was packed. Bodies stuffed side by side. The heat was stifling. I was overcome with thirst and left Bella to find some decent drinks.

The kitchen was vacant and I looked in the fridge and cabinets. I came up empty and left to find the keg.

I had to go back out to the front and bummed a cup off Ben. When I had filled my cup I went back inside looking for Bella.

I hate these fucking kinds of parties. Couples were strung out on the couches and sofas. It was all cheap sex and fake love here. I was getting desperate. Bella wasn't in the room we were in before and I couldn't find her anywhere.

I ran back into the kitchen. I stopped and held my breath, hoping the girl in the room wouldn't turn around.

I knew she would be here, I just hoped neither one of us would be alone.

"Hi Tanya." I said. Tanya jumped and spilt her drink all over the counter.

"Shit, Edward, you could have warned me." She stepped back and grabbed some paper towels.

I let in a sharp breath. Her white blouse was fucking soaked through. I racked my mind with things to say or do. Tanya stared at me curiously while biting her lower lip.

"Edward, you've seen it before, so don't go all rigid on us now." Tanya joked. "It's okay."

"Have you seen Bella?" I blurted out.

Tanya grunted and pointed towards the back door. "She went out there with McQueen, I think."

I turned going towards the back door and yelled thanks over my shoulder.

I was worried. Bella was so nervous about seeing the motherfucker and I had left her to fend for herself. I approached the door and froze, seeing Bella.

She was pushed up against James, and he was saying something close to her ear. I opened the door and James looked up smiling at me, while rubbing his fingers over Bella's back.

I lost it. I couldn't handle seeing them like that. My head began to spin and I went back inside to find Tanya.

She was waiting for me in the kitchen, sitting on the counter and drinking some clear liquid that I knew wasn't water or Sprite.

I went up to her and took the cup from her hand, sliding in between her legs. I could feel the alcohol hitting my system. Tanya poured me another and I gazed at her bare torso. She had discarded her wet shirt to the floor and I gulped down the harsh liquor.

"Fuck, Edward you looked stressed." Tanya placed her arms on my shoulder and began to massage them.

I leaned into her, ignoring the party, and Bella, and life. It felt good, but all good things must come to an end.

She was there in the hall and I could only imagine how this could look.

-:-

**BPOV**

I headed out of the house towards the woods. I needed to get out of here fast. There was a small path that led from Jessica's to my house. I would be home in about ten minutes. I stumbled and shook my head, trying to clear my mind. I still see them. Edward and Tanya. I spit into the night, ridding their names from lips.

I could hear Edward running to catch up with me and calling my name. I stopped and he grabbed my arm, spinning me around.

"How could you do that to me?" I felt the tears forming in my eyes. We continued walking and stopped once we had made into the heart of the forest.

"Bella, I'm sorry. It's just…" I raised my hand to stop him and turned away facing the dark forest.

"It's just what, Edward? Is it just too hard, too painful for you?" Edward took a deep breath and slammed his fist into a nearby tree.

"Bella, I don't know how to make this work. What can I say to make this all better between us?" he pleaded with me.

"That was not what it looked like back there. I saw you with McQueen and I just thought-" I cut him off.

"McQueen? H-e wa-s-s trying to…" I sputtered. "James grabbed me Edward! I was trying to get away."

Edward looked down at the ground and I continued, "I know it looked awkward, but what were you doing?"

I fought back more tears as I recalled Edward tangled up in Tanya.

"Nothing. What's done is done." Edward was fighting back the tears now and I wanted to help him. I wanted to wrap my arms around him, protect him, and take away his pain.

But I couldn't do anything but watch as he turned away from me.

"Where the hell are you going?" I screamed at him. I followed him down the path and then we came to a clearing.

The rain began to fall from the sky. I wrapped my arms around my chest.

"Edward, you can't do this to me!"

"Do what Bella? Leave you?" Edward was in my face and the rain was coming down harder.

"I wouldn't leave. That's what you do." He stared at me and I was speechless.

"My mom did it. And when I needed you the most, you did it." The tears were falling down Edward's cheeks mixing with the rain.

"I couldn't Edward. I am so sorry." I took a deep breath and told him the truth, the truth that had been buried all these years.

"When I first met you and your mother, both of you were so sweet and nice. I could share everything with you. All of our picnics and tea parties, it was so much fun. But when your mom got so sick, I couldn't bear to go over to your house."

Edward turned away from me, but I pulled on his arm, willing him to listen to me.

"I cried all the time. I couldn't see you or your mom. It was too hard."

"And then, when she died…" I started bawling and wiped the snot that was pouring out of my nose.

"When she died, you left me there all alone to cope with that. My best friend abandoned me and made me stand before her grave all by myself." Edward's tone was filled with malice.

"There was blood and she was so weak. I was thirteen, Edward! The cancer was terrifying and I was scared."

Thunder rumbled over head and the lightening lit up the sky, illuminating our faces, both stained with tears and guilt.

"I couldn't help you and I am so sorry." I said.

"You know, I thought it was me." Edward squeaked out. "I thought, you were tired of us and I wasn't good enough for you."

"I wrote you a letter." I said to him.

"I threw it away." He replied.

Edward grabbed my hand and it was ice cold.

"That's how it felt, Bella. Cold. And empty. I was fucking freezing, watching them lower her into the ground. I couldn't look at Carlisle anymore. The reflection in the mirror alone was enough to remind me of her. Her green eyes and golden hair. I see her in me every day. And that shit hurts."

The rain poured down overhead and the thunder echoed off the trees. Our clothes were soaked and I was chilled to the bone by the storm and by Edward's words.

"And you." He pointed at me. "You were _so_ scared."

"Well, guess what? I was fucking petrified. But I didn't have the chance to run away. I didn't avoid my house and my life. And I would never leave you."

I gaped at him, not sure what this would mean.

"Edward, I'm so sorry."

"Stop, Bella, just stop. Why don't we do one another a favor and call the whole thing off? We can go back to being whatever the hell we were before all of this." He motioned between us and then rubbed his face with his palms.

"I won't put you through this any longer. You clearly don't want to be with me."

I watched him turn away from me and I didn't follow him or call after him. I just watched him go.

The rain began to cease and I felt one last teardrop from the sky land on my cheek. I wiped away both my tears and the rain and whispered into the dark, cold night, "Edward, I love you."

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**A/N: *tear***

**Alrighty, folks please review and check out my other story. **


	13. The Business of Misery Thanks!

The Business of Misery

I grinned and bore it all hoping no one would notice that I was dying on the inside. To an outsider my life would appear to be like any normal teenage girl, living in the middle of nowhere with her mother, not speaking to her estranged father, and yearning for a boy that broke her heart.

In reality, however, my life was far from normalcy.

I was trapped in a nightmare. A vicious circle of consciousness and unconsciousness surrounded me. I woke up from one nightmare and went through my day in another one.

Edward was there and he was blatantly ignoring me. It was just like before. We would pass by one another, but not look up from the ground, pass a paper, but not touch, and we never spoke a word.

I couldn't understand how he continued to act like nothing had happened. Sure, we were falling in love, or so I thought, but now it was like the last few weeks had never happened.

I saw him multiple times with Tanya. All wrapped up in her arms, her fat tits all over him. It was disgusting and it made me sick. Not once did Edward regret breaking up with her when we were together. I couldn't fathom why he would be with her now.

Again, I felt unworthy from the opposite sex. What did I do wrong?

And so, I trudged on, keeping my head held high and putting on the fake cheer. Well, at least I did at school. But in my home, my sanctuary, I shut my blinds and hid under my covers. I let the tears run until I was dry. Renee brought me Ben and Jerry's ice cream for dinner and water before bed. I was so mentally and physically exhausted, both from my nightmares and my undesirable thoughts of Edward. I lay in bed pondering my life and where I had gone wrong.

My nightmares were filled with guilt. I could see the gravesite so clearly now. Edward was there by himself, leaning over his mother's empty grave. He couldn't find her body anywhere. In my dreams I would try to help him, but he couldn't see or hear me. His body trembled in the cold night and I watched the tears fall down his face. But the most troubling part of the dream, the part that woke me up and caused my pain, was the fact that the Edward in my dreams was much like Edward now. He wasn't the thirteen year old boy anymore. He was older and taller than when his mother had died, his face sunken in with hurt and anger, and his hair a chaotic mess. I felt his pain because I was the cause of it.

The week went on and the Ball was going to be held tomorrow. I chuckled at the irony of it all. I began in search of date and I ending without one. I guess that was the business of misery.

The rain pelted against my window and I turned away from the noise, hoping to drown out the sounds of my dreary life.

Rosalie and Alice were standing outside the Cullens' house on the back porch. They seemed to be arguing. Petite Alice was standing on her toes and pacing the porch like a ballerina. It was very, very strange. From my window I could see Rose glancing this way.

I hadn't spoken to either one of them. They were always giving me these pitiful stares, but they never knew what to say, how to cheer me up and so they just let me be.

Until now.

Rosalie threw her hands in the air and then started walking this way. Alice trudged after her.

I heard a knock on the door and then it opened and closed.

"Well, let yourselves in, girls," I mumbled.

They were both drenched when they entered my room. I sat there on the bed, fringing indifference to their presence.

"Hi, Bella," Alice said quietly. She sat down on the bed and wrapped her fingers through her short, damp hair.

We sat there in silence. Rose paced the room, clearly agitated and seeming as though she wanted to speak.

"What are you doing here?" I finally asked.

"Well, Bella, this little woe is me shit is starting to get on my nerves. That's all." Rosalie placed her hands on her hips and let out a huff.

"Woe is me? We haven't spoken since last weekend! How am I 'woe is me'?" I stared at her perplexed.

"Oh, not you. Him!" Alice pointed to the window obviously at Edward.

"I doubt that." I rolled my eyes. Edward was not having any pity parties. "I don't really care."

"We figured that. You two are the most stubborn people in the world," Rosalie said.

"Rose," Alice warned.

"He hurt me this time. Remember?" I stared Rose down.

"This time. You guys are so pathetic." Rosalie paced the room. "That was over four years ago. Can't you both just let it go?"

"Let it go? First, yes, it was four years ago, but it's not _me_ that's still holding the grudge."

Rosalie lifted her finger to stop me, but I continued.

"Second, I did nothing wrong. _He_ was the one all under Tanya. _He_ decided he didn't want this anymore. I'm just so sorry. I didn't mean for any of this to happen." I let the tears fall freely down my face.

"Are you sure you're over it? Because it sounds to me like you haven't forgiven yourself," Alice asked timidly.

"You have to stop blaming yourself, Bella. Edward had no right to hurt you like that." Rose sat down beside me and wrapped her arm around me.

"Guys are jerks. All they want is to hurt you."

"Rose," Alice warned again.

"Edward didn't know…he was confused and broken." I tried to defend him.

"No. Bella, I know. What he did, that was awful, but I know."

Alice stood up and gave Rosalie a gloomy look.

"In New York," Rosalie took a deep breath. "I was hurt that my mom and Jasper had left. I was all alone with my dad. I tried to spend most of my time with my friends, but then I met him."

"Rose, What?" I was confused. One minute it was Edward and I, and then the next, Rose.

"Bella, it's just…Edward hurt you. I get that, but it wasn't out of spite or because he hasn't forgiven you. He loves you Bella."

I gave her a doubtful look.

"No, he does. I can tell. There are those who make mistakes and those who do things on purpose to damage you. Edward made a mistake. And Royce…"

"Who is Royce?" I asked.

"He was the guy I met before I moved here. He was a senior and I was just a freshman. Oh, God. He was so hot. We started dating. I didn't tell my father."

"We dated for a few months and he was really nice. And then he got possessive. I would go over to my friend's house and he would call me and get mad."

"One night, I was over there late and so I just decided to walk home. It was only about three blocks. He was waiting for me."

Alice and I grabbed Rose's hands in fear. Rosalie sat there, tears running down all our faces.

"What happened next?" Alice asked.

"We hadn't done it, yet and he told me I belonged to him and no one else. He was violent and pushed me down on the sidewalk, just right there on the ground." Rose pointed to my floor. She was lost in her thoughts.

"And then he made me his. It hurt and I was so scared. He left me there, in the cold. I couldn't move. Finally, I made it to my house. My dad was asleep, but I didn't know what to do. Royce had threatened me and I promised I wouldn't say anything."

She was sobbing now and all Alice and I could do was hold her.

"And then Jasper got in trouble and you guys moved here?" Alice questioned.

"Yeah," Rose sniffed, "I told my mom and she packed us up and moved us to Forks."

"Oh, Rose," I cried.

"So, you see? Alice is right. You have to forgive yourself and Edward for the past, because that's what it is, the past. If I had been angry and never forgiven Royce for what he did, I would have never been able to love Emmett. He helps me and he loves me in a way Royce never could."

She was right. I had to forgive myself for abandoning Edward. And I had to forgive him for what he had done. We might not be together or even friends, but we could forgive.

"Thanks, Rose. And thanks for coming over to cheer me up." I smiled at Alice and Rose.

"Oh, that wasn't really our plan." Alice gave me a mischievous grin and pulled out a bag I hadn't noticed from off the bed.

I groaned and fell back onto the bed. "No, I'm not going."

"But you have to," Alice pleaded, "Just look at your dress."

Alice pulled out the long formal gown for the Black and White Ball.

-:-

"You look really pretty Bella. That dress looks nice on you."

"Thanks, Jacob." I looked over at my date. "You look pretty good yourself."

And he did.

Alice and Rose had come over earlier and helped me get ready for the dance. My hair was now in a curly mess and my dress fit me perfectly.

Thank you, Alice, I thought.

I didn't want to go to the stupid Ball, but the girls had convinced me to go. And so here I was. I had almost forgotten about Jacob. He showed up at my door around seven. I was so happy I didn't have to go it alone.

And Jacob. He looked really, really nice. A pair of dress jeans and a silver tie and vest. It was casual, but it worked.

I bade goodbye to Renee and Jacob guided me out to his car. I felt like Cinderella on her way to the ball. My long white dress made me look like a Greek goddess. Or that's what Rose had said.

Alice was an awesome designer. She had put together all of our dresses. I couldn't wait to get to the school to see what she had done with Rosalie's dress and her own.

I glanced towards the big house across the yard. Prince Charming wouldn't be waiting for me at the Ball. I sighed and pushed those thoughts away determined to have a good night.

* * *

**A/N: I know this is kind of short, but I just wanted to get this posted by today. When Edward decides to cooperate I'll be able to write some more. ;)**

**Today is Reader Appreciation Day! A lot of crazy things have been going on in the Fanfiction world, so I just wanted to say, "Thank you." Thanks for taking the time to read, review, love, or hate my stories. This chapter's for you. *group hug***


	14. Bad News

**Bad News**

I hurled the remainder of my lunch into the toilet and wiped the fucking traitor tears from my eyes. I sat up and grabbed the bottle of water near the sink. After rinsing the nasty vomit from my mouth I walked back out to my room and stared at the crinkled, yellow paper.

The paper was the source of my misery and my pain, the cause of years of ignorance and mistakes.

All because of this lost piece of fucking yellow paper.

. . . -:- . . .

It was my own damn fault.

I was the reason for it all. Her long, dead stares into the darkness of the night, I could see her from my window. Late into the night she sat there on the windowsill.

The first few nights I thought nothing of it. Maybe she just couldn't sleep or something. But by Thursday I learned that it was a completely different story.

Bella was staying up late, looking out her window, and crying.

The light of the moon reflected off the salty tears that stained her cheeks. I couldn't fathom what could make her cry out to the moon.

Bella's tears were not the only thing that haunted my mind. Since our split a melody had been spinning around and around in my head. The smooth notes lingered at my fingertips.

I had yet to put anything on paper or keys. The song reminded me of Bella, soft and pure.

School had become more of a nightmare than I could have ever imagined. Exactly seven hours after I had broken up with Bella I realized it was a mistake. And in exactly one minute after that I realized we were both too stubborn to make up.

The buildup of resentment and hate had only been festering away while we were together, waiting to break open whenever we finally acknowledged our past.

And that's what happened. We were on the edge of a knife. The final conversation determined our fate and my actions sealed our destiny.

So I watched Bella when no one was looking, thought about her late at night, and found comfort in Tanya.

Tanya welcomed me with open arms. I felt guilty, of course. Tanya was such a bitch. And she would never understand me that way.

The way Bella did.

But Tanya was safe. Safe for me to hide from my past, my last month, and she offered a nice future. A future where her boobs and her presence were all the things our relationship required. There were no strings attached.

I fell into a similar routine, one of the Pre-Bella eras. Hanging out with Tanya at the Diner and fucking around between classes.

Only nothing was normal about my nights. Troubled notes dancing around in my head were a sure sign I had gone insane. Every night I watched her as the music grew more and more somber and grave.

The night before the Ball provided me with a nice tempo for the song. The rain belted out on the roof and the soft pitter-patter on the window inspired me.

I hummed along with the tune and glanced out my window.

Bella was there, in her room_ with_ Alice and Rose.

Uh-oh. That couldn't be good.

Abandoning my music I turned towards the window and tried to make out the shapes through the rain. Bella and Rose sat on the bed. Alice was pacing around the room. It was such a funny sight. What I wouldn't give to be a fly on her wall.

I sat there for hours watching Alice flit around the room. Bella looked at her with what I could imagine a look of bewilderment. Rosalie laughed. This was better than cable. And then there came the dress.

The dress was obscured from my view, but I could tell that whatever doubts Bella had about going to the Ball were thoroughly erased by that dress.

That stupid fucking Ball. I couldn't bring myself to ask Tanya, and so I was going it alone. I tore my eyes away from the window and glanced over at my tuxedo. Alice had informed me that it would look great with Bella's dress. Too bad we weren't going together anymore. I rolled my eyes at the pity of it all and continued watching my silent film across the lawn.

I'm not sure how long I sat there at my desk staring out the window. The rain eventually stopped and by morning the sun was streaming in.

I had fallen asleep at my desk. My body slumped forward and I knocked over my lamp.

"Fuck!" I screamed jerking my head from side to side. _Where the fuck am I? _I looked around and couldn't remember what time I had actually fallen asleep here.

I looked out the window, but Bella, Rose, and Alice were all gone.

The day passed by unceremoniously. I loitered around the house and hung out with Jasper and Emmett. Alice and Bella had gone over to Rose's house early that morning to start getting ready for the dance. Hair and nail appointments would keep them busy for much of the day.

I shuttered at the thought of it and thanked my lucky stars I only had to shower, comb my hair and throw on a tuxedo. Girls had way too much shit to do.

Finally Jasper and Emmett left to pick up their dates and I retreated upstairs not wanting to be confronted by Esme. Sure, I was going to the Ball, but I was flying solo. I dreaded the phone call to Tanya, but I knew I had to talk to her sooner or later.

I lay back on my bed and dialed the simple seven digit number. After the third ring Tanya picked up.

"Hi. I take it we're not going out to eat before the dance, huh?" I cringed at the thought of Tanya standing around waiting for me to pick her up.

I remained silent hoping she would get the message. After many more silent minutes she did.

"We're not going to this thing, together, are we?" I nodded my head into the phone and cleared my throat.

"Sorry, Tanya. I just can't do this anymore." She sighed and I waited for her response.

"Well, damn! Edward Cullen finally learned how to stand up on his own two feet." She chuckled. "I understand, Edward. I would choose difficulty over comfort, too."

"What?" I asked her.

"Bella. I know you love her and so I can't blame you for this whole mess. Her song has been stuck in your head, like it's on a constant loop; the tune that keeps you going during the day, and the lullaby that serenades you to sleep at night. Bella has been consuming your thoughts too much to give us another chance. Bye, Edward."

She hung up the phone and I sat there speechless. Bella's lullaby. That was what was playing over and over in my mind, the haunted tune itching to be let loose onto the keys. I jerked up off the bed and raced around the room in search of paper.

My school bag was in the kitchen, so I began searching my desk. When I found none, I went to my closet. My suit and the dance were long forgotten. My need to bring the notes to print overbore all other actions.

Reaching up on top of the closet I pulled down a box full of left over assignments from previous school years. Papers and report cards my mother had made me keep.

I sat it down on my desk and searched for a scrap, anything to write on.

And then I saw it.

Lying on top was a half-folded note. And it was addressed from Bella.

My heart dropped. This was the letter Bella had written after my mother had died.

I held the paper in my hands. It was so delicate, but I felt like this single piece of creased paper held the weight of the world.

I took a deep breath and opened the letter.

_Dear Edward,_

_I am so sorry about the loss of your mother. She was a wonderful person and I am so grateful to have been given the opportunity to have met her. And you._

_I will always remember our time together. She was so strong. I never even knew she had cancer. She never let it show. Elizabeth was always smiling and joking with us. I remember how she would beg you to play the piano. Her eyes would close and a small smile would form on her lips. _

_The two of you were so much alike with your bronze hair and bright green eyes._

_And that's the reason I'm writing this instead of telling you in person. I cannot bear it, Edward. My heart aches whenever I think of her. She's…gone. And it's just too much pain for me to handle right now. I hope you can understand. I miss you. Just please give me time. I will come back!_

_Love, Bella_

The letter fell from my shaking hands as I ran to the bathroom. I hurled the remainder of my lunch into the toilet and wiped the fucking traitor tears from my eyes. I sat up and grabbed the bottle of water near the sink. After rinsing the nasty vomit from my mouth I walked back out to my room and stared at the crinkled, yellow paper.

The paper was the source of my misery and my pain, the cause of years of ignorance and mistakes.

All because of this lost piece of fucking yellow paper.

I now understood all that had happened. Bella had never meant to hurt me. She was only hurting herself.

This letter had split through the cracks. It was so confusing and chaotic then. I had never seen the letter and so I thought Bella had abandoned me. Bella thinking I had read the letter felt my rejection of her when she came to my house a few months after the funeral.

My eyes burned as more tears came. I thought of the night Bella had come over to her house. I yelled at her and told her I didn't want to be her friend. I had said such revolting and hateful things to her.

She left immediately. And that was it. Neither one of us confronted each other. We went on to High School. Bella made friends with Angela and Jessica and I got mixed up with the wrong crowd.

How could I have been so fucking stupid?

I glanced at the clock.

As fast as I could, I removed my clothes and hopped in the shower. I wiped away the salt from my tears and sweat. I got out and shook my hair, the water flying everywhere. My tuxedo was off the hanger and on my body in less than thirty seconds.

I bypassed Esme and Carlisle going through the back door. My car stood there waiting. I looked down at my watch. It was eight. I had to hurry.

I had to tell Bella I was sorry. I had to make this right.

* * *

**A/N: Hello, Mr. Cliffy! I realized while writing this chapter how similar this story is to another Twilight fanfic. I had no intention to do that. I had this idea before I even started to read that story. So let me just rec out: High Anxiety by EdwardsBloodType. Amazing story. I did not mean to copy her window stalking. **

**Big thank you to MEP. I couldn't do this without you!**

**Only a few more chapters left. Eeek! What are your thoughts on an Epilogue? 3 **


	15. The Only Exception

**A/N: Hello, peeps! Just to let you know: I added a Disclaimer to the story. (****) You can find it in Ch.1 Prologue. There's also a warning for strong language and mature situations all involving teens. Sorry, I had an epiphany the other day and wanted to change the whole story to an M rating. MEP and Lolo changed my mind. So, here's chapter fifteen… **

The Only Exception

**BPOV**

"Do you want anything to drink, Bella?" Jacob yelled over the music. I tore my gaze away from the entrance to the gym and looked up at my date. The music was so loud I strained to hear him as he repeated his question. Shaking my head no I continued to scan the room.

Unconsciously I was searching for _him_, but in my mind I was only looking for Rose and Alice. I found them for the third time that night. They were standing with Jasper and Emmett and a few other friends.

I laughed to myself as Alice twirled around in her dress. Usually when there was a formal black and white event most people opted for a traditional outfit. Obviously, Alice and Rosalie were not most people.

Alice had made all of our dresses into masterpieces. Mine was a simple, long, white dress with golden heels. I felt like a Greek goddess. The plunging neckline was a bit much for me, but thankfully I could hide beneath my curly locks.

I looked at Alice and had to stifle another giggle. Her dress was, well, Alice looked like a Dalmatian. Her knee-length, black and white polka-dot dress was amazing. Her spiky hair was even calmed down into a wavy doo, but my favorite part was her accessory, Jasper!

I snorted and Jacob gave me a curious look. I waved him off and looked over at Jasper standing protectively by Alice's side. He pulled at his vest and his polka-dot dress shirt. Yes, Jasper was in sync with Alice. It was so cute, but no one would dare make fun of him as his scars made up in what his attire lacked.

However, Alice's prize possession of the night was the sleek little number on Miss Rosalie Hale. Alice had made Rose a short, red dress with flower-like petals lining the back. For any mere mortal showing up at the Black and White Ball in any non-black-and-white dress would be social suicide, but not for Rosalie. She looked ravishing and beautiful.

I watched as she smacked Emmett on the head as he stuffed his mouth with more food. Emmett was such a character. Not long after showing up at the dance, Emmett had discarded his tie and let his suit hang open.

I brought my attention back to the people standing before me. All of Jacob's friends from the Reservation were there. I was so totally out of it and I couldn't focus on the conversation. The entrance door to the gym opened and my breathing hitched as I saw…my father.

_Charlie?_

Sure, parents were allowed to the Ball, but Renee was out with her new fling and even Carlisle and Esme had plans for the night.

_What was he doing here?_

I held my breath as Charlie made is way over to our group.

"Oh, wow! You look beautiful, Bells," Charlie said as the music quieted down.

"Hi, Charlie. I didn't think you'd be here. Isn't there something else going on, like a game or something?" I asked reluctantly. Jacob had said Billy was at home watching football and I assumed Charlie would be there, too.

"No, no this is exactly where I'm supposed to be." Charlie beamed at me.

"For once," I said and rolled my eyes. Charlie softly nudged my arm and chuckled.

"Gotta start somewhere, Bella." Charlie paused and so did I. He had never called me that before and I realized for the first time how much Charlie truly cared about me.

"How would you like to have dinner with me? Maybe tomorrow night?" Charlie looked hopeful.

"Pick me up at seven…Dad?" He gave me a quick a nod and smiled. I smiled back at him.

"Well, you two have fun. I'm going to go sit with the rest of the aged." Charlie pointed to a table filled with teachers and parents.

I scanned the room once more.

"Waiting for someone?" Jacob asked me.

"No," I said. "I'm trying to find Rose and Alice."

"They're right over there," Jacob pointed. Clearly, someone was getting annoyed.

"Thanks," I said quietly. "Sorry, I've been acting strange all night."

Jacob gave me a small smile and went to speak, but was quickly silenced when the door swung open one last time.

-:-

**EPOV**

I raced down the long corridor to the gym, my heart pumping loudly in my chest. The hall seemed to go on forever, door after fucking door, and so I ran.

It was like a nightmare. The one where you're running, probably late for something, and you can't open any of the doors, that's how I felt.

The entrance from inside the school was sealed shut. I had to go all the way around.

_Damn it!_

I approached the door and I could hear the music, chatter, and laughter. I paused.

This was it. When I walked through that door I would see her. I would have to face her and the truth.

I stepped back and turned around, ready to run like the coward I had always been. Running my hand through my hair I felt the piece of paper tucked firmly in the other.

I could do this. I had to do this.

I turned around quickly and pushed open the door.

My senses were flooded as I tried to take in the things around me. The music was now blaring, no longer muffled from the outside. Bright lights flashed all around. Spiked punch and sugary sweets invaded my nostrils.

I couldn't think straight for a few minutes. I just stood there in a daze. Finally my eyes began to form concrete shapes and I spotted Emmett and Jasper with their girls near the food. I hustled over to them.

Alice smiled and simply said, "You're late."

I formed a tight smile on my lips, but it came out as a grimace. "I believe I'm late for a lot of things."

We stood there awkwardly. I wouldn't dare move my eyes away from the group in front of me.

"Where's Bella?" I finally asked.

Rosa huffed and Alice gave me a cold shoulder. No one spoke up, but the movement in my peripheral vision alerted me to my inquiries.

My breathing slowed and came to a stop as I took in the girl across the room.

_Fuck._

She was beautiful, more so than ever before.

A vision in white was the only way I could accurately describe her. She looked like a dream, or in my case a fantasy. She was beautiful beyond measure and I knew in that moment no one would ever compare.

"Shit," I cursed under my breath. Bella was looking right at me, probably since the moment I opened the door.

She smiled, hopefully at my presence, and I felt my body gravitating towards her, my feet moving on their own accord. I noticed she stepped forward as well. Someone called her name, but she didn't notice. Everything had stopped, time, the music, and everyone around us.

I held my breath as we reached our destination with about three feet between us. Bella crossed her arms in a defensive mood and I nervously ran my fingers through my hair.

"Hi," I quietly said.

Bella fringed deafness as she refused to speak to me. She looked down at the ground and moved her hair around. Of course this caused an all new emotion as I took in her creamy flesh that had been hidden beneath her curls.

Bella noticed and her eyes shot up and she recovered herself and turned slightly away from me.

"Fuck, Bella. I just wanted to talk. Do you think we could do that?"

"My date's waiting," She plainly stated. I looked around. _Her date? _I had no idea she had came here with someone. Finally I found the bastard. He was a scrawny looking kid and a kid for sure. I noticed his tan skin and realized her was from La Push.

Bella seemed to look around as well for she seemed to notice all of the people watching our discussion.

"Come on, then." Bella grabbed my arm and led me out of the gymnasium.

The chilly December air hit us as we opened the door to the outside. I took off my jacket and placed it on Bella's shoulders. She thanked me and we continued walking to the school garden.

It was a very simple garden. Lush trees and vines grew all around in the late spring and summer. But, now there was nothing just a small gazebo in the center wrapped with fake vines and flowers. I lit the candles that were lining the railings to provide some light.

Bella shivered and tightened her grip around my jacket.

We stood there for what seemed like eternity not breaking eye contact. Bella finally blinked and turned away from me.

"Where's Tanya tonight, Edward?" Bella asked coldly.

"It was becoming too hard for us to be together. What with the fact I was in love with someone else." I tried to smile at Bella, but she only huffed at me.

"Bella," I whispered.

"No, no, no, Edward. Please, don't do this." Bella shook her head from side to side and I watched as the tears fell down her face. I reached my hand out to her, but she pulled away.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I was wrong. It was my fault," I said. "It was always my fault."

"I can't…No, I won't do this again." Bella strode over to the other side of the gazebo and propped herself up against the banister.

I stayed where I was watching as Bella collected herself and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"You didn't want this, remember?" She frantically gestured to the space between us.

I had had enough. Bella would never listen to a word I would say. Too many lies mixed in with the truth would keep us apart. So I did the one thing that would make her listen, the only thing that had made me listen.

I pulled out the piece of paper and held it up for Bella.

-:-

**BPOV**

_This was utterly ridiculous. How could he? What right did he have to show up? And then tell me he didn't want to be with Tanya? Tell me he was in love...with me!_

I shivered from the cold and instinctually pulling Edward's jacket to my side while I unconsciously smelled his heavenly scent that was lingering there. I wiped more tears from my eyes and waited for Edward to say something, anything.

He didn't. He just stood there in the night. I could barely make out his features in the dimly lit gazebo. He seemed somewhat pained and look of hopelessness surfaced.

I wanted to go over to him and wrap my arms around him, but I couldn't. It wasn't that easy. I couldn't allow history to repeat itself. Edward had never proved to me that he loved me. Today he might think he does, but tomorrow was unknown. I was tired of the rollercoaster. I just wanted it to be over.

Edward cleared his throat and I looked up. He was holding a scrap piece of paper. From the candlelight I could tell that it was old, wrinkled and dirty from age.

He walked over to me and placed the paper in my hand and then turned around and walked away. I watched as he walked towards the school, his shoulders slumped over and his head ducked low. He looked defeated.

Ever so carefully I looked down at the paper in my hands and brought it up to my face. With shaking hands I began to unfold it. Walking over to a brighter candle I noticed it was my letter. The letter I had written all those years ago. The letter Edward had told me he had thrown away.

This puzzled me and I wondered why he gave it to me and why he solemnly walked away.

And then I flipped the letter over and there it was in big bold letters:

_I love you and no matter how long it takes, I'll wait. _

I felt the tears build up beneath my eyes. Cascading like a waterfall I let them fall. My makeup running down with them, but I couldn't bring myself to care.

There written in black and white Edward had finally proven to me how he felt. He had accepted my mistakes and forgiven me for my abandonment.

The only question was could I forgive myself?

Whether that was possible or not, I couldn't let him push me away, again. Edward needed me and I wanted him.

Gathering up my dress I ran, well, paced quickly in hopes of not tripping, to the school. I was unsure if he had entered back into the dance or went home. And then I remembered something Jacob and his friends were talking about earlier this evening. There was a full moon tonight and it would be at its lowest point at First Beach. _Our beach_, I thought.

I raced back inside the gym and quickly found Rose and Alice.

"Have you seen Edward?" I asked.

"Yeah, he said he was going down to the beach, since all the kids from the Rez were at the dance," Emmett said.

"It's mid-December! Why would he go there?" Rosalie wailed.

"It was the one place that never changed," Emmett and I said at the same time. Emmett looked confused as if he didn't understand his only statement, but I knew.

I asked for Emmett's keys and he hastily fished them out of his pocket and threw them at me as I waved goodbye.

I had gone to First Beach ever since I was a little girl. Fishing trips with Charlie were the only good memories I had of us together. When Edward moved here it was the one place we could escape to. It was a place where there was no pain or death. Edward's mother spent her best days on that beach in the summer. It was only place where Edward and I could be happy.

To this day I went there. When things got tough with Edward, or when Renee had a guy over at the house. I never thought that he would go there, too.

It was pitch black when I made it to the beach. I prayed Edward would be close by. I got out of the Jeep and made my way down to the beach.

He was there. Sitting on a decaying log by a fire he had created. I watched him at first. He was staring into the flames with tears in eyes. I walked over to him and sat down.

"How did you find me?" Edward's voice was hoarse and he tried to clear it.

"My best friend and I used to come here a lot," I shrugged.

I held up the letter and Edward sighed. "I thought you lost this."

"I thought I had lost you," He replied.

"I'm not going anywhere, Edward." He looked up at me and we sat there in silence, drowning in the other's eyes. So much emotion flowed through them, quilt, regret, and hope.

Abruptly Edward stood up and snatched the paper from my hands. Fear briefly flickered through my body and I watched in horror as he threw the paper in the fire.

He turned to me his eyes shining with brightness and leaned down and placed a soft kiss on my cheek.

"I love you, Bella. That has never changed and never will."

I reached up and placed my hand on his face and whispered, "I love you, too."

**A/N: Ta-da! **

**Pictures of the dresses and things are on my blog: http://fanpire1721(dot)blogspot(dot)com/ **

**I'm also making a banner for the story so be on the lookout for that!**

**Well, we're coming up to the end of our road. Only the epilogue left now! **

**Let me know what ya thought of this one. **


	16. Epilogue

Epilogue

_He turned to me his eyes shining with brightness and leaned down and placed a soft kiss on my cheek._

"_I love you, Bella. That has never changed and never will."_

_I reached up and placed my hand on his face and whispered, "I love you, too."_

-:-

Bella glanced over at the man behind the steering wheel sitting next to her and smiled to herself. She couldn't believe how much her life had changed in the past six months since the Ball. The past few days had proven that. Now finished with her senior year of high school Bella found herself on her way to a graduation party.

_A party. _Bella cringed at the thought. Her past experiences with parties usually ended up with misunderstandings and embarrassment. She tried her best to avoid those at all cost.

But this one was completely unavoidable. Alice had planned this little get-together many months before. Everyone in Forks was invited, including the people in La Push. That was another reason the party was being held at the beach, a simple reminder of Edward and Bella's relationship and a half-way point between the two communities.

Bella caught sight of the beach as they drove closer to La Push. The rolling waves splashed onto the sand crashing into the sand dunes and washed up logs on the far bank. The sky was dimming slightly into dusk but it was all clear with no sign of rain for their parade. Soon she could make out the tiny fires dotting the beach and she could see that many people were already here.

Bella was pulled away from the scenery and looked again at the man in the driver's seat. He smiled at her, his mustache pulling up at the edges. He looked so happy and Bella found herself laughing at his silly smile. Charlie hated parties and large groups, in general, just as much as her.

Going back to how her life had changed so much Bella would have never fathomed that she would feel so comfortable with her own father again. A few days after the ball Charlie called and Bella accepted his invitation to dinner. At first it was awkward. Neither one knew what to say or how to express their feelings. By their third father-daughter date Bella caved in and told Charlie how much he had hurt her in the past. Many a tears were shed that afternoon. Charlie apologized profusely and tried to explain his reasons for leaving. But with most things, sorry isn't always good enough, and so they had to go the long way. Day by day Charlie earned back Bella's trust and Bella saw Charlie's love for her.

When they reached the parking lot Bella was quickly met by the biggest change in her life.

_Edward. _

He opened her door and helped her out of the Cruiser. On the way down to the beach Bella held on to Edward's hand more tightly. Fear gripped at her body causing her physical pain as they approached the beach. Bella looked at Edward silently begging him to turn around and go back. Edward chuckled and pulled her towards the group of people at the water's edge.

Over five years ago Bella could have imagined being by Edward's side, but after their falling out she couldn't bring herself to think about him, and now…

Now, Bella was one hundred percent in love with this guy. Like with Charlie, it was a day to day struggle, a struggle of faith and hope. It was easy for the two of them to be together, but they had to believe that the other would be there for them. Bella worked hard not to let the past affect their relationship, but on some days she still questioned if Edward would be there in the future.

Walking up to the large group at the surf, Bella looked around at all the familiar faces. The entire Cullen Clan was there along with Bella's mom and every single senior at Forks High. She caught sight of a dark blob in the water and waved at the Quileutes. Jacob was trying to catch a small wave on his board. Bella immediately saddened unable to forgive herself for leaving the poor boy at the dance. He laughed it off the next day and joked with Bella that he was only holding Edward's spot anyway. Jacob had turned out to be such a good friend. He hung out with Bella and the Cullen's a lot throughout the spring.

Edward bumped Bella's shoulder pulling her from her thoughts and pointed to one of the logs. Bella brightened up when she saw the curly bronze haired girl.

"Ness," she called. The girl stood up and walked over to Bella. Ness was Jacob's new girlfriend and apparently his soul-mate. Bella giggled and started chatting with Ness while Edward went to find Emmett and Jasper.

The night quickly passed on and Bella found herself relaxing more and more into Edward's embrace. The flames from the fire licked at the wood turning blue and casting a faint glow on the couple.

Edward turned Bella slightly in his lap and planted a soft kiss on her lips. Bella breathed in taking in his heavenly scent and sighed contently.

"So, have you made a decision yet?" Edward murmured.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah, I think Washington." Bella looked up at Edward and asked, "And you?"

Edward hesitated and Bella sucked in more air afraid of what is answer may be. They had been putting their decision about college off until the last minute. Graduating in the top of their class, both Edward and Bella had received numerous scholarships and acceptance letters to many colleges around the country. Bella had been fighting with her decision with Washington and Edward with Dartmouth. They rarely spoke of it to one another, but Bella knew he wanted to go there.

"I think I like the rain, too," he finally responded. Bella squealed and threw her arms around him. She was so happy he had decided to stay.

"Oh, Edward, but are you sure?" she questioned him.

"Fuck, yeah," he whispered. "Anywhere that you are I want to be."

"How sweet," whaled Emmett who was making his way over to our circle. He plopped down across from Edward and Bella stuffing his face with more fish and barbeque chicken.

He grinned at Bella and spoke with his mouth full, "Studying in Italy next year, _bella_?"

Edward shook with laughter at Emmett's forever on-going joke about Bella and Italy.

"No, they'll be going to Seattle, like us." Alice appeared out of nowhere and patted Bella on the back.

Suddenly, Rose and Jasper also appeared taking their seats around the fire. They all sat there silently taking in the past few days. High school was over and the yellow caps had been thrown. In the next few weeks they would all be packing up their bags heading to Seattle.

Alice was going to study Fashion. After the school got a look at her designs from the Ball one of the teachers had signed her up for an art scholarship. Jasper had opted to continue his former military education and would be going into the ROTC program in the fall. Emmett was going to college, well, in his words he was going, 'for the kegs and the parties.' Rosalie had landed herself a modeling contract with an elite business in Seattle and she hoped to take a few classes at the University.

This only left Edward and Bella to decide what to do with the rest of their lives. After all that time spent hating the world and distancing themselves from other's they hadn't put much thought in to the future. Only time would tell.

Bella looked at the group before her. All six of them had become the best of friends in the past months. From parties at the Hale's, surfing at the beach, and dates on the weekends, it had been the best of times for Bella. She looked at each of them. They were all alike. All were broken.

Alice with her broken past, Bella had come to learn of how Alice had suffered from amnesia. She woke up in a hospital with no recollection of her past life. She felt a need to travel to the rainy state of Washington and a few buses later she was standing at the Cullen's door.

Jasper with his broken skin, they had all learned to accept him and in turn Jasper learned to accept his own scars. Now he took to bringing awareness to young kids the dangers of gangs at the local youth shelter.

Rose with her broken heart, Bella shook her head at the sight of the beautiful blonde before her. Having been so shattered and broken, Rosalie found the strength to carry on leading her to Emmett.

Emmet with his broken…stomach. It obviously did not have any filler, nor did his quota for living life to the fullest. Each day was a new challenge or adventure for Emmett.

They were all broken. But for Bella and Edward it was harder to overcome their pain. Broken relationships and broken hearts crippled their outlook on life. Each day was a fight to save their selves from their selves.

And as Bella watched her friends banter around the campfire she realized that she had no control over her life, she only had choices and opportunities and what she did with those, well, that was up to her.

She motioned for Edward to loosen his hold on her and she stood up and told him to follow her. The night sky was now dark and the moon was bright.

Walking along the water's rim they strolled hand in hand.

Edward sensing her distress prompted Bella to speak her mind. "What's going on in there, huh?" He poked with his free hand at her forehead.

"I was thinking about the first time we ever came down here at night. Do you remember?" She asked her eyes sparkling as she looked up Edward.

"When we were ten and you turned down my marriage proposal?" he joked.

"Yeah," Bella breathed. "I was so afraid of it, even then."

"You were afraid of what?" Edward looked worriedly at her.

"Afraid of failure. Of loss. Of everything." She smiled at him and sat down on the damp ground placing her feet at the water's edge.

The mountains were slowly slipping away as the inevitable clouds moved back across the sky.

"I could never believe that Bella Swan was afraid of anything." Edward beamed back at her sitting himself down beside her.

"With you, Edward, I don't think I can be anymore. You always bring out the best in me."

"You know what? I could marry you some day, Miss Sawn." Edward chuckled as Bella quickly shook her head.

"Yes," she stated.

Edward stared back at the wonderful girl before him, whether they were truly serious or not Bella was willing to wait and find out.

Edward stood back up shaking off the sand and pulled Bella up into his arms. He twirled her around and around dancing to the lullaby in his head.

"Who are we making jealous now?" Bella asked.

"Everyone, Bella, just everyone."

_The End_

**A/N: *sniffle* *tear* *sniffle***

**Before you ask, no, I will not be writing a sequel to this story. This is as far as my imagination goes with these guys.**

**Four months, 16 chapters, and one incredible journey later, I have finished my first fic. **

**Thanks to my wonderful RL bff/beta, MEP, without you this story wouldn't be half as good. **

**To all the people who reviewed, alerted, favorite-ed, and what-not: THANK YOU! You're encouragement and words helped me to continue this story even when I thought I couldn't and you let me know I didn't totally suck at this writing thing. **

**There is a playlist, banner, and some pictures on my blog for this story if you want to take a look. **

**http://fanpire1721(dot)blogspot(dot)com/**

**Now as I go and click on the COMPLETE button, go hit the review button one last time. Let me know what you thought of the story, your favorite chapter, your favorite line, or anything else you may want to say. **

**xoxo,**

**Sara**


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